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Reporting in from: NYC Cheers to the British police for nabbing suspects in the recent London
bombing attempts. Besides the fact that we're all fighting terrorism,
you know what's scary? The surveillance images of the four suspects
are clearer and more current than pics from any guy who contacted me
earlier this year on Match.com. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talkin'
about. Enjoy your weekend. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: Summer Stock Please understand if I go a couple of days without blogging next week. I'm taking a quick and very short business trip to L.A. this coming Tuesday. Why? I have a meeting with an executive in charge of talent development for Telepictures Productions. That's the company behind such programs as "Ellen," "Extra," "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." In September, it launches the Tyra Banks talkshow. He's meeting several performers. I'm one of them. My absolutely fabulous
Cousin Sputnick is meeting me out there and will help me get around.
My equally fabulous sister, who knows that I haven't had an audition
since Valentine's Day, asked if this feels like drops of rain in the
desert. I said, "Honey...it feels more like being under an umbrella
beside an Esther Williams pool and having iced tea served to me by actor
Javier Bardem. Shirtless." I'm that excited and grateful for just
having a meeting. Imagine if I actually got offered a job. Wish me luck.
And thanks to all of you who've sent me kind words and good humor. You
have no idea how much they've made me smile during this long stretch
of unemployment. What an unexpected adventure is coming up next week!
If I was a Telepictures producer, I'd star Ellen DeGeneres and me in
a musical version of GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER? Whaddaya think? Could
it work? Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: The Emerald City Likeable eye candy Mario Lopez, former star of "Saved By the Bell," is set to co-anchor a new show for ESPN2. The title is "ESPN Hollywood" and it'll cover the link between entertainment and professional sports. Besides the teen sitcom, Lopez was a regular on NBC's "The Other Half" -- Dick Clark's attempt at an all-male version of ABC's "The View" -- and he hosted "Pet Star" on Animal Planet. A male executive for the ESPN project said this to the press: "One of the things we liked about Mario is that he really knows sports and he's passionate about what this show is going to be." He went on to add that Mario was a high school wrestler in San Diego. Yeah, right. OK. Here's my take on it. I think that executive had a major life-altering
moment back in the 90s when he watched Mario Lopez wear Speedo trunks
and play Olympic swimming champ Greg Louganis in a TV bio. He never
talked about it. But, if he did, his girlfriend would finally understand
his obsession with track lighting, his constantly playing the original
cast recording of "Wicked," and why he cries more than she
does at the end of "Beaches" starring Bette Midler. Just my
opinion. I wish Mario the best. Cool dude. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: The Baked Apple Mel Gibson's controversial mega-hit, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, had characters speaking in the ancient Aramaic language. The Oscar-winning superstar will produce and direct a new historical epic called APOCALYPTO. In articles about his new project, little is known other than it'll take place 500 years ago in Central America and unknown Mexican actors will play characters speaking an obscure Mayan language. Gibson got great initial response to THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST when
he presented preview screenings for conservative Christian groups. When
completed, my sources tell me that APOCALYPTO will be screened for the
domestic help and lawn care maintenance teams that work for Mr. Gibson
and his rich friends in Brentwood, Beverly Hills and West Hollywood.
Well...it's gonna be another hot one in the city today. Keep cool and
thanks for your attention. Reporting in from: City, State The change and events of this month still stun me. On the first Monday
of July, the big story on our mayor and our mass transit system was
that he would fine riders to prohibit us from drinking coffee and walking
between subway cars en route. Today, the last Monday of the month, New
Jersey mass transit is now subject to the random search that Mayor Bloomberg
and the NYPD have us New Yorkers subject to because of the London bombings.
The biggest surprise was discovering that, since Sept 11th, the government
guys had spent as much on safeguarding our NYC mass transit system as
we spend on a double mocha latte at Starbucks. Someone should fine them.
Name: GrandMaster B I was just thinking over the weekend about my good fortune to have had close encounters of the third kind with some icons of stage, screen and print thanks to my career. Thanks to luck, work and many work-related off-camera functions I have spent an appreciable amount of time with the following folks: Lucille Ball, Paul McCartney, Kirk Douglas, Meryl Streep, Norman Mailer, Tina Turner, Tom Hanks, Rita Moreno, Chita Rivera, Carlos Santana, Cher, Mick Jagger, Sean Penn, Sean "P Diddy" Combs, Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Rosemary Clooney, Robin Williams, TV producer/film director James L. Brooks, Liza Minnelli, Madonna and Al Roker. (Can I drop names or what?!?!) Of all those celebrities and superstars listed, which one was the loudest,
needed the most attention and was the biggest diva? The last one mentioned.
Ain't that a trip? Consider the contributions. How was your weekend?
Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: FunkyTown Can we talk about all this Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas videogame
drama? Now the games are being yanked off store shelves because of the
discovery that America's computer whiz kids could access some sex scenes
hidden within the game. The sex caused a big honkin' controversy. HELLO?!?!?!?!?!
Have grown-ups paid any attention to all the graphic violence on those
games? Have they seen all the assault weapons in action? Have they seen
other games of that sort where characters walk down streets and randomly
blow people away with guns? America's youth is watching mind-numbing
extreme violence the way kids used to watch "The Little Rascals,"
Bugs Bunny cartoons and Sesame Street. But no one had a hissyfit until
it was discovered that the kids could see computer-generated images
getting naked and doing the horizontal mambo. To me, it's just like
the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction." We're living in
terrorist times, a lot of which has been broadcast on live television,
but people couldn't deal with a split second of Miss Jackson's partially
exposed breast on the Superbowl. If America couldn't deal with a boob
on the right side, George W. Bush never would've been re-elected. Just
my opinion. Blame it on the heat. Keep cool and sign the guestbook.
Name: Hon. BobbyR The next time you see a headshot or a close-up of Supreme Court nominee,
D.C. Circuit Judge John Roberts, think about this -- if he wrapped a
pretty silk scarf around his neck, combed his hair over his ears and
put on some lipstick...he'd look just like Bonnie Franklin on "One
Day at a Time." Think about it. Maybe that's why he got the nomination.
By the way...did ya reeeeeeally think W would pick a Black, a Hispanic
or a woman? Puh-leeeeeeeeze!!!!!!! Sign the guestbook. Name: Bobborino Baby, it was hot yesterday -- hot and humid. How humid? You'd inhale and your nostrils would slam shut. That's how sticky it was. One friend referred me to a temp personnel agency that supplies clerical help. OK..I'd rather play an office worker in an indie movie or on a sitcom, but I need to pay the bills. He told me the person to call at the agency on East 42nd Street. She was expecting my call. She was curt, but polite and said that Jamie could really help me out in her department, so she was going to transfer me. She tried to muffle the mouthpiece and she shouted out to Jamie that she was transferring the call. However, it sounded like she tried to muffle it by putting the receiver in a cappucino machine. She then pushed a couple of buttons...and I was disconnected. That's what happened when I called to set up an appointment to register with a company that supplies clerical help to offices in Manhattan. I had to return DVDs to my video store. On the way back home, I saw a neighborhood gent approaching on 21st Street. This guy is 50something and I've seen him in the area for years. He's very courteous and always well put-together. Think Jack Nicholson when he took Helen Hunt to dinner in AS GOOD AS IT GETS. We've chatted briefly before on the street and I've toyed with the idea of getting his number and asking him out for coffee. I decided to take that step as were approached each other. "I'm miserable in this heat," he said, stopping. I said, "Well...we get a break from the humidity pretty soon. And the weekend is going to be nice." I'd kinda tilted my head to one side. Not like Rosanno Brazzi when he saw Katharine Hepburn in SUMMERTIME. More like Doris Day in PILLOW TALK. He continued with, "That's what I heard. But, with me, it's not the heat and the humidity. It's eczema! It's my friggin' eczema! Look at this arm -- eczema. Look at my other arm -- eczema. Ya know what's on my ass?" "Eczema?" "Eczema! I'm on my way now to see my doctor again, that sonofabitch!" I didn't keep him long..and I didn't ask him out for coffee, considering the skin drama he was having. I came home to a message from another friend with a tip on temp work. His partner, who is also in the entertainment industry, got some part-time gigs thanks to the Actor's Fund Organization here in town. It has a program for perfomers who can't find work in their chosen profession and need help making a transition to some other field that will bring in a paycheck. It increases your chances of getting a part-time job in something with other industry people instead of winding up like Claire in that clerical cube farm on the recent episodes of SIX FEET UNDER. I clicked onto the website, found the exact program my friend told me about and sent a brief email to the *social intake worker* explaining my situation. Two minutes later, I got an automatic out-of-office reply that read "...the social intake worker is out of the office until July 11." Yesterday was July 19th. It went on to include a phone number to another department that I could call and leave a message. Messages at that department are checked *occasionally*. Occasionally? Hmmm. So..what did all of this teach me on a hot summer's day in New York
City? When life gives you lemons...ask the bartender for the whole damn
bottle of tequila. Let that be a lesson to you. Have a good day, keep
cool, and sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYorkCity Well...it's happened again. Another celebrity starred in a private home-made sex tape. Bad boy good actor Colin Farrell sued his ex-Playboy Playmate girlfriend in L.A. yesterday to block her from releasing their 15-minute tape to the public. This will definitely juice up his career and get him a top spot on tonight's entertainment news programs. I rented the Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson video. Oh..my...gawd. That thing was practically a 1-hour special. They took their pleasure craft to a secluded lake for a weekend and kept the camera rolling. Pam showed us Tommy on deck, then he took the camera and showed us "the little man in the boat." It didn't hurt their careers. She got a sitcom on Fox a few months ago. Another Fox Blonde, Paris Hilton, has a popular adult DVD out. I didn't rent it. The photos on the DVD's back cover were enough. Obviously, room service at the Paris Hilton is very good. It didn't hurt her career either. In fact, she went on to another season on Fox during TV's family hour. Remember back in the late 80s when Rob Lowe was caught on tape cavorting with a couple o' naked babes? He became an A-List late night talkshow booking for his apology tour. He got some script offers and now lives in a huge house that Oprah visited on her show. Think about Colin Farrell's career. He was hotter than hot for a while. And then....Oliver Stone's ALEXANDER. That epic went over like pork tartare. Are we surprised? You take a pale guy from Ireland with no chest fur, dye his hair blond and cast him as a Greek warrior. What the hell was Oliver thinking?!?!?! Two Greek brothers manage my favorite neighborhood diner. They're 20something, olive-skinned and as hairy as Chewbacca. One just returned from a month in Mykonos and he's as dark as I am. Colin needs a little controversy that'll give his publicist something to do. Keep in mind he's now shooting the movie version of MIAMI VICE with Jamie Foxx. Let's see how this Hollywood story plays out. I bet you someone gets a clip of his sex video and leaks it. His naked performance in that 15-minute tape could prove to be more entertaining than ALEXANDER. You know what they say..."there are no small parts, only small
actors." Keep cool. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: New York City This Karl Rove controversy is like a bloodhound snapping at the president's
rear end. Scroll down to *Karl's Marks* to read my take on it -- and
rent the documentary that I recommended. I saw it again last weekend.
I didn't hear one journalist bring up any info from the excellent, scary
documentary and someone should have. There's a website for it too ---
www.bushsbrain.com
. That short feature that packs quite a punch. Reporting in from: NYC Are you a Johnny Depp fan? I am. Have been for years. My friend and neighbor Emily took me see CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY early in the afternoon last Friday. The adults in the audience outnumbered the kids. All of us howled with laughter. It was exactly the tonic I needed to take my mind off another week of unsuccessful jobhunting. Here's a movie trivia tip -- if you've seen the monkey opening of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, the cobweb finale of THE FLY (1958) and 1930s Busby Berkeley musical numbers, this new movie will be even funnier to you. I didn't like Tim Burton's remake of PLANET OF THE APES, but I love what he did what WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. I saw that original version when it came out. To me, it lacked the magic and wit of classic Disney features or THE WIZARD OF OZ. Gene Wilder looked like a local TV kiddie show host. Now...when I was a kid in LA, we had cool kiddie shows hosts. There was Sheriff John, Skipper Frank, Engineer Bill and Hobo Kelly. Wilder's "Willy" kind of creeped me out. He looked like a local TV kiddie show host who had some sort of off-camera fetish behavior that would eventually cause the cancellation of his contract. I thought the rest of the cast was forgettable and I thought the music score sucked. I didn't like "The Candy Man" then. I don't like it today. Depp plays Willy like a retired kiddie show host who never quite came to term with his parental issues. Burton's version is so refreshing and so delightfully twisted. The little actor who plays Charlie is perfectly cast. He wins your heart right from the start. He and Johnny Depp worked together before in the drama FINDING NEVERLAND. Depp's "Willy" is worth seeing. The whole thing is just plain fun. Personally, I plan on seeing it again. Back to the jobhunt. Who knows? A miracle could happen this week. Wish
me luck. The same to you. Reporting in from: Manhattan Saturday evening I took myself out for a bite to eat and I made a noble
attempt to flirt with the handsome guy sitting at the diner table next
to me. He was alone too. I noticed a paperback novel next to his plate
and I said, "How's the book?" He was a dark-featured, hairy
dude in jeans and a tank-top. He looked a lot like Burt Reynolds in
the 1972 classic DELIVERANCE. Very hot. However, when he spoke, he sounded
more Debbie Reynolds in THE UNSINKABLE MOLLY BROWN. Bless his heart.
He was very nice. I let him get back to his book. I went back to my
chicken salad. Then I went home and watched Barbara Stanwyck in DOUBLE
INDEMNITY. If only he could've been as butch as she was. Oh, well. At
least I'm getting out there and making a first move. Better luck next
time. Reporting in from: Gotham Kids, I'd really be surprised if I'm still living here in Manhattan
next year. I couldn't get attention in this town if I levitated. I'm
now seen five times a week on national television holding up food products
and doing voiceovers, but I can't book a single commercial audition
and I haven't even had five days of work since last winter. I hope the
TOP 5 repeats don't increase in popularity. I can't afford any more
national exposure. I need a job. I've long had this "Rocky"
quality -- I get knocked down but I keep getting up to go all 15 rounds.
This week, I found myself saying "I'm not gettin' up. Why bother?
Ryan Seacrest has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Why bother?
Bobby Brown has a reality show on Bravo that's so ignorant, it would've
made Black people shoot Lincoln. Why bother? Clay Aiken wrote his autobiography.
Clay Aiken! He's what....14? Why bother?" This week, I contacted
a total of 30 local agents, TV producers and casting directors and 1
clerical temp personnel agency. The only response came from the clerical
temp agency. Thank goodness the weekend is here. I'm beat. Besides a
job, I'd really like a nice, cute bear of a guy to take me out for a
walk and hold my hand in the moonlight -- "the serious moonlight"
that David Bowie once sang about. Ya know...if Ryan Seacrest had a website
and wrote blogs like mine, he'd have a book deal. Ain't that a trip?
Thanks for the attention. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.
Enjoy the weekend. Be cool. And sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: Willet Creek Our president's top political adviser, Karl Rove, may have leaked the
identity of a covert CIA agent to the media in 2003. If he did, that
is a serious wrong. Some VIP Democrats are calling for Bush to fire
Rove. That ain't gonna happen. George W. Bush would rather one of his
daughters sneak away to Vegas and elope with Snoop Dogg than dump the
man who put him in The White House. Karl Rove is to President Bush what
Paul Winchell was to Knucklehead Smiff. If you want to see a chilling
documentary, rent BUSH'S BRAIN. It's all about the mark Karl has made
on W's political career. What's really frightening is that we see Democrats
and Republicans and the emergence of a separate political underworld
that, like Count Dracula, is sucking the lifeblood of liberty out of
this great nation. In fact, besides BUSH'S BRAIN...also rent the Frank
Capra's classic MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON. If I ran NBC, CBS or ABC,
I'd make that 1939 beauty a primetime special. Jimmy Stewart as one
young senator putting it all on the line to defend this country against
DC crooks who control the media and "cast big shadows." It's
just as timely as ever today. Yessir, there's a double feature for you...with
love, from me. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: Hollywood-on-the-Hudson I am STILL jobhunting. Have been all year. This is just too weird for words. I'm now seen on national TV reruns every weekday, hosting and doing voiceovers, but I haven't had a commercial audition since February. In June, I was ready to call it a day and just settle for an office job in some clerical cube farm but a few of you did a Cher and told me to "Snap out of it!" On Monday, I mailed pics and info to dozens of casting directors and agents letting them know the "Top 5" airtimes and the news that I've done small roles on two episodes of "The Sopranos." A wonderful buddy lives down my block. When I was doing local news and Food Network shows, he'd leave early in the morning to be a background actor (an extra). A few evenings a week, he does restaurant work. We're in the same age and financial category. Just a couple o' middle-aged guys trying to get by in showbiz. He's been getting auditions this year. In fact, he's had more auditions this month than I had in the whole year I was repped by ICM. And he's not signed with anybody. Yesterday, great news for him. He booked his first speaking role. In a major motion picture. Opposite Richard Gere and Alfred Molina. He deserves that luck. I am so thrilled for Will, however I am once again getting that creepy feeling that I should've learned how to drive a forklift instead of majoring in Broadcast Arts with a minor in English Lit. After hearing from Will, I ran into another neighborhood buddy. He's a classical pianist whose cousin just booked a screenwriting job in L.A. One of Cary Grant's best comedy performances was in a 1940s movie called MR. BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE. It's being updated. The cousin is rewriting the Cary Grant role for....rapper Ice Cube. Oh, baby, I can hear that forklift revving up right now. Thanks for your support. Tell your friends and local TV columnists
about my blogs. If you hear of any job leads in your town, tell ME.
Oh..one more thing...for you fellow New Yorkers. Mayor Bloomberg has
been on the local news every day lately talking about funds for our
mass transit security. Wasn't I right? Doesn't he sound a little like
Corky the director in WAITING FOR GUFFMAN? I can just see our mayor
sulking in a bubble bath. That's all for now. Have a good day. Sign
the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC Just wondering. On Monday, Pres. Bush said that last week's London
bombings were "...an attack on the civilized world" and proof
of the need for an aggressive war on terror. Did he say that after 200
were killed in the Madrid bombings or doesn't he consider a Spanish-speaking
country to be civilized too? Just wondering. Carry on, London. Our prayers
are with you. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: Downtown Billy Wilder's SUNSET BOULEVARD is one of my all-time favorite classic
films. It's a work of art. Andrew Lloyd Weber did a musical version.
It wasn't a work of art. Glenn Close, who played Norma Desmond in the
Broadway version, will star in a movie version of Weber's musical. Gee...that'll
have 'em running to the malls. There are only about 10 old queens in
this whole country who'd pay to see that and five of them are probably
having dinner with Liza Minnelli tonight. Glenn, you rocked on THE SHIELD.
Go back to that excellent cop show on cable. Remember...Andrew Lloyd
Weber is the man responsible for CATS. Reporting in from: NYC Let's start Monday with a Shameless Plug. I'm featured on the homepage
of this classy, professional site: Here in Manhattan, I got some serious streetbuzz from my gal pal, Lorelei from Little Rock. There could be a major scandal involving some shady casting directors and payola. We pray it ain't so because that could be High Drama for the Screen Actors Guild. If one of the several entertainment shows on TV that I applied to had hired me, I'd be checking that story out. In the "There's No Such Thing As Bad Publicity" Dept., I heard on the radio this morning that Kobe Bryant will once again be doing ads for Nike. According to one of my sources, his new slogan will be "Nike shoes -- they help you run faster...and jump bail." Just kidding. The Write Stuff: A few of you fab folks have sent me messages telling
me that I should write a book. Well, I'd been writing some essays and
sending them out here in NYC. Got no response. Last year, I sent a batch
to my now ex-agent. She didn't read them and she never logged onto my
blogs. That's why she's my ex-agent. However, my blogs did win the attention
of two literary agents. One is the rep of Augusten Burroughs, who gave
us "Running With Scissors." Both gents read my blogs and the
pieces I mailed to them. After our meetings, I was told that I cannot
get published unless I write a novel. Memoirs aren't selling. I know...I
know..I know. I brought up David Sedaris with his hit memoirs. The Burroughs
book is being made into a movie starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Annette Bening
and Vanessa Redgrave. The Jon Stewart mock-history textbook "America"
is a big seller. Reporting in from: NYC It's shaping up to be a comfortable summer's day. I'll be going out, if only to take a walk and count my blessings at being able to go out and take a walk. I had to catch a subway train yesterday. If there is added security, it sure wasn't in our carriage. There was some loud guy selling copies of his new hip hop CD which, he announced, "..does not degrade women." If a cop was present, that guy wouldn't have been trying to hit us all up for $4.00 a disc. Last Monday, our mayor's main subway concern was planning to prohibit riders from drinking coffee en route and walking between cars. By Friday, he and the governor had held a press conference on live local TV news to assure us that mass transit is being protected from terrorist attacks like in London. Once again, we saw officers with assault weapons on patrol, plus bomb-sniffing dogs. When the British news broke on Thursday, the most brilliant and accurate coverage came from the BBC America cable channel and the BBC News websites. Our major American networks took some time getting up to speed. Instead of monitoring each other for breaking news, as they do, they should have been paying attention to BBC America. On Friday, you couldn't swing a dead cat on a subway train without hitting a local New York City news reporter sticking a microphone in your face and asking if you were afraid to take the train. Every single channel did it. I saw the same commuter give soundbites on two different channels. Talking heads came out by the dozens to bobble on the airwaves. We didn't see all that steroidal coverage and security after the Madrid bombings, which killed 200. Why? I have a theory on that. The Madrid tragedy happened in March. March is not a TV ratings month. The London tragedy happened last Thursday. July IS a television ratings month. There you have it. About all the local street reporters getting subway soundbites -- it was a bit much after a while. As a viewer, I'd like to see some of the anchors who make movie star salaries like Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Brian Williams, Wolf Blitzer and Paula Zahn to head for a midtown subway station, purchase fare and make a round-trip from Manhattan to Brooklyn...like millions of us do and have done. Instead of asking a lesser-paid journalist how the crowd feels, get out there and become one of the crowd yourself. You get a totally different attitude and viewpoint when you do that sort of thing vs being driven in a towncar, limo or cab. Just my opinion. There was good news out of Scotland last week. World leaders at the
G8 agreed to increase Africa's financial aid package to $50 billion.
The only thing that could possibly cause them to change their minds
and revoke that package would be if they caught any episode of "Being
Bobby Brown" on Bravo. Again...just my opinion. Enjoy the rest
of your weekend. Let's hope for a peaceful Monday. Reporting in from: NewYorkCity How did I *out* myself with Angelina Jolie? How did I stump Madonna
with a sex question? Why did I have a pic of Tom Hanks in drag? If you
want to see what I did before TOP 5, you can! Just click onto this classy
entertainment industry website: It's more attention than I expected to get, it's the kind of attention
that I don't get here in New York City, and it came from a company in
my hometown...Los Angeles. Reporting in from: NYC What a week! Within minutes, the life of Londoners went from sheer glee at getting the Olympics for 2012 to suffering its worst attacks since the blitzes of World War 2. That fact was mentioned several times yesterday during the network coverage of the tragedy. It occurred to me that hundreds of American 20somethings probably didn't even know that London was bombed during that war. I'm taking acting classes during the week with many students in that age group. Sitting in the studio hallway, waiting for a classroom to be available, I've heard one young actor ask "Who's Billy Graham?"...another had never heard of the movie CASABLANCA...and, in one class when about a dozen of us present had been asked by the teacher how many have seen THE SOPRANOS, I was one of two students who raised his hand. That's why I think the London blitz fact was fresh news for some of America's youth. Unfortunately, it took the UK tragedy for folks here in the USA to beef up and refocus on our own security. Just about all of our local news shows and the networks questioned the safety of our transit system. Personally, I think the network morning shows should've been doing that of journalism months ago instead of staging weddings, beauty makeovers and giving whole half-hours to Mariah Carey and the Runaway Bride. It took those terrible bombings to get our news focused on our protection -- and to get CNN to go for ten minutes without talking about that blonde who's been missing in Aruba. Whatta week. Personally, not much of a ripple for me on the job front. In the "Just Say No To Drugs" category, today's NY Times
entertainment section has a 2-page ad for WAR OF THE WORLDS (how eerie
-- evil aliens strike from underground, just like this week's top news
story). In the ad, NBC's Gene Shalit says, "This is Tom Cruise's
finest performance." Gene...step away from the crackpipe! OK..I
wouldn't put Tom in the same league with Sean Penn, Johnny Depp or Denzel
Washington, but he was a helluva lot better in BORN ON THE FOURTH OF
JULY, JERRY MAGUIRE and MAGNOLIA. In the 2-page ad, there's not a single
mention of little Dakota Fanning, whose rivetting performance is the
soul of that movie. What I wrote in my WAR OF THE WORLDS review blog
has a lot of what I would've said on TV if I was a network morning film
critic like Gene Shalit. By the way, he gets over $1 million for what
he does. Right now, I'd be happy to get minimum wage. I need a good
laugh this weekend. I think I'm gonna rent NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE. Big hugz.
Be careful. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC Great Britain has my prayers and my outrage over the bombing. I watched
BBC America coverage from early this morning until this evening. I don't
think the same can be said of our local news programs here in New York
City. Can't some writer or producer log onto BBC websites or watch BBC
news for updated info? Our city officials responded to the UK tragedy
by stepping up security in Manhattan. I must admit, it sure is a relief
to see cops on foot patrol again. Also, the city was very quiet and
serious. Grown-ups weren't acting like unruly high schoolers who sit
at the popular table in the cafeteria. The sight of New Yorkers blabbing
on cellphones and crossing the street when the light is red, totally
clueless to oncoming traffic had become a standard sight that crystallized
that we are not paying attention. We'd returned to lax behavior over
the last couple of years. We citizens pay more attention to "American
Idol" than we've been paying to our American security. In one newscast,
a local security expert said that today's overseas tragedy was "...a
wake-up call to Great Britain." Perhaps he didn't see the swift,
massive and expert response of the British emergency medical teams and
police force. London was prepared. Prime Minister Blair feared this
would happen and had prepared. I think it was more of a wake-up call
to NYC today. We must be aware. Have a good night. Thanks for your attention.
Reporting in from: USA God Bless London. Keep that city in your prayers today. Reporting in from: Manhattan After weeks and weeks of intense campaigning by our mayor, it was announced early this morning that New York City will not be hosting the 2012 Olympics. Let's think about this -- first of all, we don't really have a major stadium here in the city for an international outdoor event. Second, later this year Mayor Bloomberg will put an ordinance into effect banning people from drinking coffee on subway trains. If you think the French don't like us now, can you just picture the venom if they got tickets for sipping Starbucks on a train to Harlem to see some synchronized hairweaving? To me, Mayor Bloomberg sounds a little like Corky St. Clair in WAITING FOR GUFFMAN when he gets irritated at City Hall press conferences. He must be having a big ol' hissyfit today because of the elimination. I can see him doing a Corky on the International Olympic Committee for picking London instead of New York City -- "You're bastard people!" "...I hate you and I hate your ass face!" "You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go home and bite my pillow!" Here's an idea -- all that money officials would've spent maybe building
a New York City stadium and doing other prep for the Olympics? Why not
spend it on our educational system? Give our teachers a little bump
up on the paychecks, or get the kids some current textbooks or make
sure school security systems are up to date. Just another one of my
wacky ideas. Have a good day. Sign the guestbook. Rent WAITING FOR GUFFMAN,
if you've never seen it. That's one brilliant comedy. Reporting in from: NYC www.TomCruiseIsNuts.com
Reporting in from: Chelsea Early this morning, I went to Crunch gym to workout. After 30 focused minutes of cardio on a treadmill, I hit the leg press. Walking over to do chest weights, a young guy who'd stopped me to chat two weeks ago stopped me to chat again. He's a tall, handsome Asian dude -- built like a brick pagoda. The first time we talked, he complimented me on my Food Network show. This morning, he said "I really love seeing your work." There was a twinkle in his eyes. My hormones started spinning like they were in one of those giant teacups at DisneyLand and shouting "It's a holiday! Wheee!!! It's a holiday! Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!" We're going for a ride!!!!!" Then he said, "Is your show still on at night?" I answered, "Nope. It just went to weekdays last week. It's on Monday through Friday at 11 in the morning." "In the morning?" "Yep. 'Top 5' got moved to the mornings." Then...it happened. The twinkle in his eyes turned into great big question marks." "What's 'Top 5'?" "That's the name of my show." He put his gloved hand to his mouth and gasped, "Ohmygod....I thought you were Al Roker." The giant teacups came to a sudden, screeching halt. My hormones were
hurled out and hit the Main Street of Dreams -- bruised, broken, bloodied
and crying for help. This is further proof that I need to get out of
show business and learn how to drive a forklift. Name: BobbyR Happy 4th of July! I love that holiday -- have ever since I was kid
back in California. It's the fireworks. They never disappoint, especially
here in New York City. In January, I gave myself six months to turn
my career and lovelife around. Well...I'm still jobhunting and still
dateless after all my efforts. I'm gonna enjoy this holiday weekend
and, come Tuesday, start applying for *civilian* jobs. When "Top
5" was on once a weeknight, I was getting a paycheck. Now that
it's been kicked up to five times a week during the day, I ain't making
a dime. I can't afford any more national exposure. I'll have to settle
for desk job and like it. No single TV station in this town is interested
in me. About the lovelife, it's like a cardgame, I guess. Sometimes
ya gotta know when to fold 'em. I cancelled all six online personal
ads and I'm counting on my cool hetero buddies to be my Gr8 Str8 D8s.
When you call a Straight Buddy in NYC and say, "How'z 'bout going
out some beer, barbecue and cornbread?", they show up. They don't
give you gay male drama about not eating carbs or not wanting to have
a relationship blah-blah-blah. In the meantime, I'm taking my solo self
out to enjoy this holiday and see some fireworks. I need some illumination
in my life right about now. How about you? Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC ...but the melody lingers on. We'll miss you, Luther Vandross. What
wonderful things you did with the gift heaven gave you during your all-too-brief
time here on earth. Reporting in from: Chelsea/NYC Big thanks to that wonderful wizard of webmasters, my totally cool Eric McCool, who hipped me to the news before I had to read it in Jet magazine or hear it from LaKeisha who works down the block at the Weave Only Just Begun beauty shop. Terry McMillan, the Serious Black Woman who wrote the hit novels "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" and "Waiting to Exhale" is hitting the courts to have an ex-husband. "Stella" was based on her Caribbean vacation romance that evolved into a marriage. McMillan's world was rocked recently when she discovered that her Jamaican hubby likes to Ja-make-it with other men. Personally, I give it up to any sistah who can get her novels published and get them adapted into hit movies like she did. That takes perseverance and work. However, I have long had a problem with her sterotypical and angry depictions of gay Black men. Either we're big queens burning hair with a hotcomb in a salon or we're no-account bruthas who date women but have some man-action on the side (in the early 90s, we Blacks & Latinos started calling that "on the down-low." Mainstream America just learned about the DL last year, thanks to Oprah.) In Terry's books that I read, there was no responsible, dependable, kind, funny, supportive, masculine Black man who happened to be gay and had a full-time job. I kind of feel like Lady Miss Karma has whacked Terry McMillan upside the head with a spiritual skillet. If you read some of what she communicated reportedly to her estranged mate, it's very ironic and very mean. See for yourself. Go into my *links* section and click onto thesmokinggun. When you get to the gun, click onto the icon for "Featured Document" and read the drama. Ahhhh, sooky sooky now! As the great French writer, Balzac, once said in the 1800s..."Well, there goes another novel. Pass the cheese, Fifi." Have a great holiday weekend. Sign the guestbook. Tell your local TV
columnists about my blogs. They're better than Rosie O'Donnell's. Name: VH1 Vet, BobbyR Some of you totally cool folks who frequently read my blogs were kind
enough to write about me to the new Logo cable channel, a channel from
MTV Networks targeted for a gay & lesbian audience. You know that
I worked for MTV Networks back in the late 80s when I had a show on
VH1 where I did some pretty funny gay-friendly humor, if I say so m'self.
Not too many of us Black guys were doing that kind of humor back then
on national TV while hosting shows. I raised the stakes on that kind
of comedy and got more open in the I've sent resumés and demo tapes to Logo execs that I know since early this year. Unfortunately, I never got one single response. In the Logo rundown, the channel will have a show called "The Guts to Play Gay." It will salute straight actors for being brave enough to play gay characters -- actors such as Glenn Close, Kate Winslet, Matthew Broderick and Ving Rhames. Gee...maybe if told execs at Logo and at GLAAD that I'm really straight,
maybe then they'd give me a little attention. Dang! If Katie Holmes
wasn't already engaged, I could ask her out to dinner and a movie. Oh,
well. Ob La Di..Ob La Da...life goes on. Reporting in from: NYC Yesterday afternoon, while walking down Hudson Street, I passed actor
Matthew Broderick. He was about an arm's length away from me. Broderick
looked like he was ready to start shooting a new movie -- one called
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off Weight Watchers." Damn! That Sarah
Jessica Parker must be a whiz in the kitchen! I was on my way to the
gym and he made me feel better about myself. Life can be beautiful.
Don't you think? Or don't you? Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: AlienNation One of the dynamics of classic sci-fi movies that I dig the most is the significance of children vs an adult lack of humility. In the world of the sci-fi thriller, adults (usually parents) are forced to regard kids as being more than amusement pieces. We see that inequality begins at home -- grown-ups have the attitude that they are more aware and alert and smarter just because they are taller, older and control the money. They can behave badly. Youngsters can't. The worlds of children and adults clash. Children hold clues to survival. Adults are forced to listen, to follow their lead, to really act like adults. How many times, especially in the 50s, was the kid the first one to sense that something strange was upon us or to have survived something horrible? Think of Bobby in one of my all-time favorites, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. The little girl who survived the giant killer ants in THEM! Davey who sees INVADERS FROM MARS. Jump from the 50s to the 70s and think of little Barry in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND. In the 80s, we had the sweet kids who loved and protected ET...and don't forget the tiny but tough "Newt" in ALIENS. Dakota Fanning's Rachel in Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS joins that list. There are times when I couldn't pick which was more stunning -- the special effects or her performance. She is remarkable. It's no surprise that Spielberg gets a memorable acting job from a child. Kids, to him, are what blondes were to Hitchcock. As a director, he keys right in to their mystery, power, duality and vulnerability. I bet he didn't have to give a lot of direction to Dakota. She's just got the gift. If you saw her in I AM SAM with Sean Penn and MAN ON FIRE with Denzel Washington, you know what I mean. Her Rachel is a lovable, quirky, working class kid. The world would not be a bright place without her. Yet alien forces want her destroyed just because of what she is and where she lives -- a human on the Planet Earth. Dakota Fanning carries the picture. This is why Tom Cruise has pissed me off. He's been pulling all of the attention for this movie ever since he jumped up and down on Oprah's couch like he was a hyper Jack Russell terrier. Ever since then, I found myself wishing that he was a Jack Russell terrier and that I could feed him a chocolate bar so he'd keel over and shut the f**k up. He may know the history of psychiatry, but he sure doesn't know anything written by Stanislavski or Uta Hagen. The media should've given more airtime than it did to Spielberg, a master filmmaker, and Miss Fanning. WAR OF THE WORLDS is not a classic like ET and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, but it's worth seeing. And it's very unnerving. The 1953 movie version of the story took place in Southern California. Today, the evil aliens are relocated to New Jersey, where they were in the historic Orson Welles radio play of the late 1930s. The relentless, graphic and awesome destruction in the new WAR OF THE WORLDS bring back memories of Sept 11th. The director gives us the uneasy feeling that we slipped back to the ways of self-absorption and taking each other for granted that we exercised up to Sept 10th. For those of us who were here in NYC on the morning of the attacks, many sequences made us squirm. JAWS was fun-scary. This is unsettling-scary, like moments of SCHINDLER'S LIST. Spielberg takes our contemporary angst and puts it within the structure of a 1950s sci-fi thriller format, which explains the ending. In sci-fi flicks of that era, you got a certain kind of ending. And you didn't always get the best acting. Which probably explains the casting of Tom Cruise. He really doesn't have to act. He's a movie star and an action hero. He plays the divorced jerk of a dad. The sudden horrors force him to become a better father. I must admit that I did love seeing him get so angry when his child is threatened that he did a smackdown on one alien like it was Matt Lauer asking about the benefits of Ritalin. That's all for now. What are some of your favorite sci-fi classics?
Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC I attended the WAR OF THE WORLDS preview last night at Manhattan's
groovy Ziegfeld theater. Airport security should only be as thorough
as the security was at the screening. The metal detector beeped as I
passed through because of my belt buckle. The security man waved the
wand over my midriff, detected that it was the buckle -- and then he
inspected the buckle up close as if it was a hidden spy camera. I wanted
to say, "Yo! BruthaMan, I ain't James Bond or the Man from U.N.C.L.E.
This is just a cheap-ass belt buckle on a cheap-ass belt from Macy's
basement." All that drama just to see a Tom Cruise movie. That's
America today. I'll review it later. I mainly wanted to see it because
Spielberg is the director and it co-stars little Dakota Fanning. I think
she's one of the best child actors to come along in years. in I AM SAM,
she and Sean Penn were so honest, touching and real in their acting
choices. I wish they'd been reteamed for this one. To me, she steals
WAR OF THE WORLDS away from Tom. And she has to endure some high drama
for just about the entire picture. I hadn't heard a kid scream that
much since opening night at Neverland Ranch. I've got my acting class
tonight. I only hope I'll be as good as Dakota Fanning. Be cool...and
sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC Today, Oprah repeated one of her funniest and most memorable segments
of this year. Nervously, with someone holding her hand, she got her
ears pierced on her show in front of the studio audience. Television
is a very, very competitive business. So, for the July ratings period,
my sources tell me that CNN has arranged for primetime talkshow host
Larry King to get a Prince Albert on his program. His special guests
that night will also include Mickey Rooney, Jackie Collins and Al Roker.
Set your TiVo...and don't forget to sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: New York City There are few tribes as complex, clueless, forceful, disenfranchised and dear as gay men of New York. Examples? I took my first voyage into the world of online dating attempts in 1999. What was my biggest surprise? Racial exclusion in a group demanding diversity from America. On several sites, like the popular Edwina.com, I was shocked to see how many white men in their 40s, old enough to know the significance of the civil rights movement, excluded black men from their dating preferences. However, many of us black men marked "race unimportant" when adding our preferences. By the way, why isn't their a black member on "Queer Eye" and why do young gay men in this city know more about Carson Kressley than they do about Harvey Milk? Our community seemed to have fallen into a deep political slumber sometime around the premiere of "Will & Grace." The tough, passionate, necessary rage of ACT-UP was all but a whimper. You would've thought that the AIDS crisis had ended. The new gays were all about clubs, ecstasy, fashion, fashion, fashion and celebrities. "ACT-UP! Fight AIDS!" shouted on city streets was replaced by "Who did your dress?" shouted on red carpets. In the intense days of the health crisis, we were cohesive. Young bodybuilders embraced middle-aged chubby dudes, bears embraced twinks, healthy men embraced the dying, all races and ages embraced each other. Why? We had to. Especially during the Reagan years, we knew that there was a large political body that would not have shed one tear had we all been eradicated from the face of this great nation. Then, as time and medical advances progressed, we regressed to basing a Manhattan man's sole worth on physical beauty, social fabulousness, wardrobe and weekly income. Then came the Gay Marriage Controversy. The Bush Era bitchslapped us all awake again. The same white guys who wouldn't date black men dropped their Prada catalogues, picked up picket signs and headed to City Hall to march for civil rights. I know someone who did. Al, a publicist I met in the 90s, gave a soundbite to a local news station. I haven't spoken to him in years but, back when I was working in local news a lot, I frequently took Al and his boyfriend out to Sunday brunch. Al and I went to the same gym. He used to come over to my apartment. He and the sweet boyfriend moved in together. Then...high drama. Al met someone else. Someone hot. He started having an affair. He asked me for advice. I had none. Personally, I liked the boyfriend and didn't want to get involved in the months of deception that eventually broke up their relationship. When I saw him on TV demanding marital equality, I thought "Well...I guess he wants the right to possibly fuck up a marriage as much as a straight man can." Someone else I knew in the 90s is Jonathan Capehart, a celebrated former NY Daily News writer, black and openly gay, who became Mike Bloomberg's top policy adviser when he campaigned for mayor of New York City. The post elevated Jonathan to High Fab in Gay Manhattan. I'm sure this is no secret because I surely wasn't the only person invited -- around 1993, I attended his boyfriend's wedding. His boyfriend was an illegal alien from Europe. To make him legal, Capehart arranged for him to marry a female network news producer. All of the guests would confirm that it was a lovely, if odd, service and she was a lovely bride. That's what one man did to keep the love of his life in America. Imagine how he must've felt when, after all that and helping to get Bloomberg elected, the mayor sides with the court decision against gay marriage. He must've felt like Oprah at the Hermes store in Paris. See what I mean? As for me... professionally, I've applied to LOGO,
the new gay channel, several times for work over the last two months
and haven't received one single response. Personally, I'm not seeing
anyone. I've tried. I was once rejected for not being physically *hot*
like LL "Cool" J. And the guy who rejected me was a gay Christian.
So, with all of that, coupled with this weekend's heat and humidity,
why am I going to the Gay Pride Parade on Fifth Avenue Sunday? To say
a prayer...a prayer of thanks for all those men who helped me in my
career, who helped me become a better man, and died of AIDS -- like
my late partner, Richard. To say a prayer for good men gunned down in
political office like Harvey Milk...young men crucified like Matthew
Shepard...to say a prayer of thanks and remembrance for writer James
Baldwin..for Bayard Rustin, the power behind Martin Luther King Jr..
Family can drive you nuts and, lord knows, my gay family drives me
nuts at times. But I'll be out there for a while in the heat and humidity
cheering and applauding...and praying...before the parade passes by.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: FoodTown It looks as though TOP 5 will get more exposure, even though the show's
last day of on-camera production was June 22nd last year. According
to what I've seen in local TV listings, TOP 5 will air Monday-Friday
at 11am et/pt starting this coming Monday. That's here in the States.
I don't know if it goes to five times a week in Canada too. This is
just too surreal for words. I'll be getting more national exposure but
I'm still looking for work. Ob La Di, Ob La Da....life goes on. Have
a good weekend...and sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC Remember Charlotte Church, the cherub-faced classically trained soprano? She cut a CD in 1998 called "Voice of an Angel" and, a couple of years later, she got major spotlight from Oprah. The Welsh prodigy had an exquisite voice that got lots of attention here in New York City from local FM rock radio DJs. Come 2002, she was under the radar here in the USA. But, in the UK, she's rich and pretty and a big star with a new CD coming out. She's left her romance of the high C's for some lowdown rock & roll. Not only that, she's drinking like Elizabeth Taylor in WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? That made British network news. To read about it, go to www.itv.com/news and click onto *entertainment*. Scroll down to "Clubbing Thirsty Work for Charlotte." On a typical night out, and she goes out a lot, she starts off with 10 shots of vodka followed by a bottle of champagne. By the way, Charlotte just turned 19. Well...ya know what they say..."the children are our future." I hear that Michael Cunningham, the novelist who wrote THE HOURS, is doing an original screenplay for Julia Roberts. My buddy James Gavin, the writer who wowed critics with his biography of jazzman/junkie Chet Baker back in the 90s, has finished the first draft of a bio on the legendary Lena Horne. Janet Jackson hoped to play the icon onscreen, but her hopes were dashed. Jim and I talked over dinner about the research he did. Oh, baby, I think Hollywood will option Lena's bio if it gets published -- and it should. Years ago, Leonardo DiCaprio was hot to play Chet Baker when Jim's last book came out. Unfortunately, the project never made it to the big screen. Personally, I think Hollywood should take another look at his Chet Baker bio and make a serious pitch to Johnny Depp. I own so many Baker CDs. In his prime, the musician/singer was beautiful until he got hooked on heroin. He's featured in a documentary called LET'S GET LOST. Rent that and tell me if you agree that Depp should do him. Recently, I had a late breakfast at one of my favorite neighborhood diners. It wasn't crowded and I happened to be a few seats down from an Oscar-nominated actor, currently starring in the revival of a Broadway hit. He and his dining companion chatted about Tom Cruise's new love. The companion described Katie Holmes as "...very ambitious." Hey, ain't we all in showbiz? Did anyone else notice that, on Monday when news anchors reported on the weekend box office, "Good Morning America" and "Today" called BATMAN BEGINS a Katie Holmes movie and never mentioned Christian Bale, the guy who actually plays the Caped Crusader? Hmmmmmmm.... Today Oprah repeats the show with Tom Cruise jumping up and down on
the furniture and talking about his interracial family. He's so manic
on that show that, if I was one of his kids, I'd have put a paper bag
over my head like Sylvester the Cat, Jr in the classic Warner Bros.
cartoons. But that's just me. Enjoy your Thursday. Sign the guestbook.
(Aren't your surprised no one's scooped me up for an entertainment column?
I think my writing is pretty darn festive.) Reporting in from: Hollywood-on-the-Hudson Since March, I have been taking acting classes at a very reputable
studio in midtown Manhattan. The assignments are some of the hardest
work I've ever loved. I've wanted to take acting classes for a long,
long time. However, I'm the oldest of three children who grew up in
a single working parent household. After our parents divorced, our father
became a deadbeat dad (eventually moving to Canada) and Mom became so
erratic with money that you would've thought she'd graduated from the
Lucy Ricardo School of Financial Planning. This is why, in my early
20s, I was paying my little brother's parochial high school tuition
while working three jobs to help Mom with the bills. In my 30s, four
months after I arrived in New York City to take my first job here, I
had to take out a major bank loan. Why? She'd moved to a new house,
relocating to the Midwest from Southern California. However, she quit
her job which meant eventually she didn't have money to send in for
the monthly mortgage payment. I assumed her mortgage because she'd gotten
a foreclosure notice. I had to put my long-dreamed of acting classes
on the backburner because I'd just arrived in New York, I had my first
apartment in Brooklyn and I needed a roommate to help me with the rent
because I was also paying on a house in Milwaukee that really wasn't
mine. This is my life. Well... her 20 year mortage has been paid off
and I've stopped sending her spending money (she's never subscribed
to cable to watch me work on TV and now she's not speaking to me because
I'm *showtune-friendly*). I spent some of my cash on myself and enrolled
in an acting school to help me revive my career. Sometimes, I'm the
oldest guy in the room. In my first month, I felt like our classes resembled
MTV's "Spring Break" meets "Cocoon." I soon got
over that. One of the many fascinating things about the classes is that
I'm watching the next wave of young actors -- the performers we may
be paying to see on the big screen or TiVo tomorrow. Last night, we
took a break during class and I listened to the New School talk about
what and who they're watching. Here goes: Reporting in from: NYC I haven't seen the footage yet on the news. A fake reporter doing red carpet interviews in London had a device that squirted water in Tom Cruise's face while he was attending the WAR OF THE WORLDS premiere in Great Britain. The prankster was a member of a camera crew quartet out to pull gags on celebs and non-celebs for a new comedy reality show in the UK. Mr. Cruise was not laughing. Reportedly, he towelled the fluid shot by the young man off his face, called him "..a jerk," and held him until security arrived. On Thursday, Oprah repeats the movie icon's now-famous appearance during
which he hyperactively professed his love for Katie Holmes. If you haven't
seen it, you must. It's a top pop culture TV moment of 2005. Jack Russell
terriers have been whacked with rolled up newspapers for acting the
way Tom Cruise did on a good couch. I received an invite to attend a
press screening for WAR OF THE WORLDS early next week. I can take a
guest. However, since I recently cancelled two online personal ads because
they ran for a year with very few responses, I'm going solo and liking
it. I hope the remake is good. The rules of entry included in the invite
are so strict, they're just one step away from a cavity search. Hell,
that could be the closest thing I've had to a good date since the fall
of 2003! The original movie version of the sci-fi thriller had the evil
outer space invaders meeting their doom with the power of prayer in
the West Coast. 1950s folks ran to a church in Los Angeles, called to
the Lord in a time of crisis and that turned the nasty Martians into
roadkill. I wonder if Spielberg will keep that ending in our current
Conservative Christian times? Or maybe a young alien in Southern California
will meet his doom after he squirts in the face of Tom Cruise. Personally,
I can't wait to see it. Can you? Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: New York City June 20th, eleven years ago, was the hardest day of my life and of the sweet woman who hugged me so many times that day in Mt. Sinai hospital. I hate goodbyes. But that afternoon, I had to sit by my partner's bedside, take his hand in mine for the last time, lean forward to his ear and whisper, "It's alright to let go, honey. It's alright. You've had enough pain. You go to that heaven you so richly deserve." I was with him the day before. So were his wonderful grandparents and his divorced-yet-still-close parents. That sweet woman, his mother, always spoke of his dad with more warmth and friendliness that my mother spoke of my father when they were married. My partner's family, white Southern Baptists up from Tennessee, were gentle people from a smalltown whose world was changed when one of their own was diagnosed with AIDS in New York City. We did become a chosen family. They accepted me more than my corporate Catholic church did. We'd each talked and spent individual time with Richard the day before. He was alert and chatty and aware of his condition, aware to make the most of his gift of time and speech. He treated those talks as treasures. Very late that night, he slipped into a coma. After I said goodbye to him in the afternoon and kissed him, I left the room so his mother could be with him. She was with him at the beginning, she was with him at the end. As she did when he was born, she gently held her only child when he died at age 25. He was over ten years younger than I, yet he was the turning point of my life. He gave it clarity and a spiritual purpose. I vowed to keep him from being alone and scared to the best of my ability during his illness. I'd never want to see another good mother endure the heartbreak that his did. I write this because the crisis is not over. Last night I was lucky enough to be invited to a lovely event for the dedicated people who continue to be warriors in the fights against AIDS. They are the people of New York City's GMHC (Gay Men's Health Crisis). The event was a Twilight Toast at the Armani store in Soho. Let's go back to the early 90s. That was not a time of "Queer Eye," "Will & Grace" and a gay man being the first winning "Survivor." For as sophisticated as Manhattan is, some of the attitudes were kind of Medieval. Reagan ignored AIDS as hundreds of thousands died from it. If you attended a swanky cocktail event in New York City, you could practically clear out the room if you were a gay man and you sneezed -- even if you were as healthy as a Kentucky Derby winner. Some educated, upscale folks considered every gay man to be a potential weapon of mass destruction. I worked at a TV station where a person with AIDS could not do the news interview he showed up to do. No crewmember would clip a microphone onto the lapel of his sportscoat. That's how contagious they thought AIDS was. That story, by the way, made the local papers. Local news did not step up to the plate to educate the public back then. Richard asked me out on a date when I'd just started working on a new show called "Weekend Today in New York" on WNBC. Mine was a part-time job and I was making the minimum wage of a staff newsperson working without a contract. I'd been a victim of the Reagan recession and really needed the work after VH1. It wasn't a happy experience because, instead of being the entertainment reporter I was invited to be, I was switched to be the "funny" liveshot guy. In news, that puts you in the same category of as a children's birthday party clown. Racially, I was offended because I'd had my own national talkshow on VH1 just a couple of years before. It got me national press, an award nomination and appearances on CBS talkshows. I was beyond shopping mall liveshots and I was at odds with management. Richard had a job and a roommate on the upper East Side. He'd never been tested for HIV. Being a young man in a smalltown in the 80s, the attitude was "it can't happen here." I was older and had lost friends. I'd been tested and I was being safe. Three months after we started dating, bad luck hit him. First, he got laid off from work due to cutbacks. Then, what he thought was a flu he'd caught when he went home for Thanksgiving was something more serious. A few days before Christmas, I had to get him to the hospital. A week after Christmas, he'd been diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. Pneumonia and, later, lymphoma. His roommate, also gay and employed by a very upscale boutique, kicked him out of the apartment due to the diagnosis. That ended their friendship. That's when GMHC came into our world. I needed help in how to help my guy. With GMHC's counseling, we became stronger. Richard got his own place for a year until he moved into my studio apartment. Emotional therapy, financial assistance, medical advice, diet & exercize -- GMHC workers had tips on all those things. Also, fellow newsroom workers had told me secretly not to let management know about my personal life. They felt that management might find a way to no longer need my services. It was like being in severe pain and being told not to scream. I got emotional counseling. Caring for someone with a terminal illness is not easy. You can lose yourself. I was dealing with all the physical, emotional and financial effects of his illness and then expected to go to be funny on live local TV. But I needed that part-time wage to take care of Richard and to take care of myself. God bless the GMHC for guidance. If Richard was alive today, current medical advances might have given us more than the nearly two years we had together. Maybe local news would be more liberal in its attitude and would allow me to utilize my experience to produce informative features. Who knows? Our president says he's committed to the AIDS crisis. When's the last time you saw a commercial for condoms on primetime TV? They're produced, you know. You can see them on MTV and on Spanish television. But they're not on ABC, CBS, or NBC. Why not? Why isn't news covering the state of the crisis today in America? I lost two friends this year. We act as though it's over here in the USA. It's not. GMHC knows that and it's still in there fighting. I've been out work for year. I've not been anyone's romantic interest in a decade. I took the R train to last night's event with my spirit feeling beat down. The Twilight Toast snapped me out of it. I left thinking that maybe I could give up showbiz, get a clerical job and do some volunteer work for the cause. We'll see. It was very cool meeting Phil Donahue (who recognized me from TV) and Darren Star, the man who gave us "Sex and the City" and Cynthia Nixon from that show. Oh! I met a really handsome, smart, friendly, sexy guy at the event. I've been out of the loop for so long that I come off like a classic Woody Allen character when I try to make smalltalk and flirt. I actually said to him "So...do you miss Cincinnati?" And I wonder why I'm not dating. Oy. Enjoy your weekend. Thanks for
reading this. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC From Berlin today comes news of Tom Cruise during his European appearance
at the premiere of his new sci-fi movie, WAR OF THE WORLDS. Reportedly,
he laughed off rumors that his relationship with Katie Holmes is just
a publicity stunt. Cruise claims that he really loves her. I'm sure
he does. Just like I love Cher, Liza, Bette Midler and Barbra Streisand.
Reporting in from: NYC Michael Jackson has just been found not guilty on all counts of child molestation. Right now, a network cable news channel is showing Jackson's black SUV on the freeway rushing the entertainer and his relatives home. In June 1994, network news channels were showing another black entertainment icon, OJ Simpson, flee in a white Bronco on a Los Angeles freeway with police in hot pursuit following the murders of Nicole Simpson and a male acquaintance. The Simpson case enabled some reporters and legal analysts to increase their incomes and to attain star power. It launched the career of Star Jones, for one. She was doing legal work in Brooklyn. She clicked with TV execs while analyzing events in the Simpson trial. Today, she's a talkshow/TV commercial diva. It'll be interesting to see what legal analysts become network news reporters and what local news reporters go network now. About Michael Jackson, I did not think he was guilty of child molestation.
That's not to say I don't think there's something strange and creepy
about him and, if I had kids, I wouldn't let them spend the night at
his house without me and my attorney present. But I didn't feel that
he was guilty of those particular charges as the case went on and I
read the news reports. I think a real crime was committed by parents,
his and the accuser's. When a parent or parents manipulate, disrespect
and exploit a child's wants and needs in order to satisfy their own
dreams of income and social status, that is a crime. To me. And it doesn't
matter if that child is 10 or 20. If I was God, I'd create an 11th commandment:
"Honor Thy Children." Maybe if it was written down, more adults
in this Christian nation would actually do it. What do you think? Sign
the guestbook. Reporting in from: The Big Apple Your last chance to see a repeat of my TOP 5 hour-long summer special is today, Sunday, at 4:00 et/pt. Here's a true story of what happened while we were taping at the beach: the TV business is bursting at the seams with 20something production assistants who get booted up to becoming producer/writers because they're available when someone leaves for a better job. They may not be the right people for the job, but they're around. I had a young lady from Texas assigned to work on my special as a producer. I think she attended a Christian school, bless her heart. The director was a sensational dude who is credited for creating the look of the old Cindy Crawford "House of Style" show on MTV. I was taping the segment that comes out of a feature on soft-shell crabs. So, we're on the beach doing a complicated shoot because direct sunlight isn't often good for a camera shot. Not only was it sunny, but the camera was several yards away while people are enjoying a day at the beach. I had to memorize the copy because the sunlight was glaring right on the teleprompter. Crewmembers had to walk in the sand carrying heavy TV equipment. We rehearsed the movements and then, when we got a good angle for the light, the director yells "Roll it!" Beforehand, I'd asked what the final footage of the feature was and the production assistant-now-producer said that it was a shot of the soft-shell seafood. So, I began my take saying, "I love crabs and those should be tops on your summer vacation plans when..." I didn't get to finish talking because she yelled "Cut!" Why? She didn't want me to say "I love crabs." WHY? Because viewers might think I was referring to a sexually-transmitted body lice. I kid you not. The entire crew -- director, camera team, audio team -- looked at her like she'd just landed from the Planet Krypton. I wanted to drop kick her bony ass into the Atlantic Ocean and pray she'd be sharkbait. I replied, "Why....why would I say that I love a sexually-transmitted body lice? What kind of sense does THAT make?" The director, very much a diplomat, said that we could shoot it again because his focus was off...which it wasn't. I shot it again and did not say that I like crabs...coming out of piece featuring crabs. By the way, she's still working and, last week, I filed for unemployment. TOP 5 closed shop on June 22nd last year. I've been jobhunting since
then. Off-camera, the last date that I had was in the fall of 2003.
A wonderful Asian-American guy on vacation from Northern California
(and built like a brick pagoda), took me out to dinner. What went to
a barbecue joint and had some great food with some great conversation.
The last time I was held through the night was by another tourist --
a Mormon in town on business from Salt Lake City in the summer of '97.
Yes, a Mormon. The last time any of my friends here in New York tossed
me a birthday party was in 1989. I love this city -- but I think it's
a one-sided love affair. It's like the line Woody Allen's character
says in ANNIE HALL: "A relationship is like a shark. It's got to
keep moving or it dies. What we've got on our hands is a dead shark."
Starting tomorrow, I cast my net outside of the New York area. Wish
me luck. The same to you. And thanks for signing the guestbook. Especially
Paul. Reporting in from: Coney Island Damn! Food Network is non-union cable. That means I won't get any residuals for my 1-hour summer special that airs this whole weekend. Oh, well. Maybe the facetime will inspire someone to call me in for an audition. You can see my TOP 5 summer special tonight (Friday) at 10:00 et/pt, Saturday at 5:00 et/pt and Sunday at 4:00 et/pt. Pardon me while I brag, but I've dropped a few pounds since I shot that show. Since March, I've been taking acting classes and hitting Crunch gym so I can be ready if some casting director should say, "Hey! Ya know who might be perfect for the part of the wisecracking uncle?" I don't know if anyone recalls this, but early in 2001, NBC was highly promoting its new sitcom. It was called "Emeril." Yep. A bunch of network execs got big money for thinking that a TV cook who shouts "Bam!" could handle his own sitcom. That thing went over like Liver McNuggets. Emeril's a good man and I asked him about that experience once. He was glad the show got cancelled. Also, he didn't realize that comedy is hard work. I've written it before and I'll write it again -- only in New York can a guy be Black, Catholic, gay, host a show that airs weekly on a popular network and still be obscure in the local broadcast community. Isn't that a sitcom? Can't you just smell the laughter? It could also incorporate some of my weird online dates into the storyline -- like the night I had dinner with an alcoholic magician who was in rehab. I'm not making this up. Basically, he was a nice guy, but I did have to say "Look. If you take one more nickle out of my nose, I'm gonna hurt you. Enough with the magic tricks. Let's just eat." On June 10th, Judy Garland was born. As far as I'm concerned, it's a national holiday. The late TV host, Jack Paar, was a great influence on me. One night he told his audience of when he ran into Judy when times were tough for her. She was having legal and financial woes. When he asked her how she was holding up, she replied that she'd learned one major thing in life -- "Behind every cloud...is another damn cloud." The audience broke up laughing. I've felt like Judy many times this year of unemployment. And then there are times like this week when I read the guestbook. Your warm words give me the gumption to get back out there and try again. If Emeril could get a sitcom, if Cedric the Entertainer can botch up the brilliance of Ralph Kramden on "The Honeymooners," if Ryan Seacrest can get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I should be able to book a bit part on a soap opera. Many thanks to all of you for your support -- especially the most terrific woman in the Twin Cities turf, my sister. The original Ralph Kramden said it best: "Baby, you're the greatest!" Thanks, Betsy. Don't forget to watch repeats of me at the beach eating foods that
repeated on me during the ride back home. Tell your friends and local
reporters about my blog. And have them sign the guestbook. Enjoy your
weekend. Reporting in from: TV Land Tonight at 8:00, CBS premieres a new reality gameshow called "The Cut." Clothing designer Tommy Hilfiger is the host who gives assignments to 16 contestants. The style hopefuls will live together in Manhattan and each will compete to win the chance to design a collection under the Hilfiger label. I'm pitching to produce a similar project for another network in which
Oscar de la Renta will oversee Latino talent competing for fashion designer
fame. I'm calling my show "The Uncut." Whaddaya think? Wish
me luck. The same to you. And thanks for signing the guestbook. Reporting in from: The Theatre District I watched the Tony Awards last night on CBS. I had to. I'm gay. It's the law. Is it just me or does the Tony Awards telecast now seem like the official kick-off to Gay Pride Month the same way that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade kicks off the Christmas season? The Tonys don't seem to attract that rabid journalistic attention to clothing designers that Hollywood award shows get. We didn't hear any "Who did your dress?" And we should have. Names should've been taken and apologies should've been made. When a few of those stage actresses walked out, I thought to myself "Wow. Since when did Stevie Wonder start working in fabrics?" On the other hand, my favorite Tony moment was the entrance by "Sweet Charity" star Christina Applegate. Now THAT'S comedy. I'm sure it'll be played on the syndicated entertainment news shows tonight. Look for it. Today's Monday and my jobhunt continues. It's not easy but I have to
use the advice one Broadway veteran, Ginger Rogers, sang to another
Broadway veteran, Fred Astaire in their classic movie, SWING TIME: "Pick
yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again." For all
your support from deep in the heart of Texas to across the Canadian
border, I send you big hugs from the Big Apple. Thanks for making me
smile and thanks for signing the guestbook. Reporting in from: The Lost World This weekend on A&E, cable's arts and entertainment network, we will be able to see a special 2-hour edition of BIOGRAPHY. Who's the famous person in the spotlight? Pamela Anderson. Yep, the "Baywatch" babe who was married to rocker Tommy Lee and, this year, got her own sitcom on Fox called "Stacked." That Pamela Anderson. She gets a 2-hour presentation on BIOGRAPHY. Albert Einstein, President John F. Kennedy, Fidel Castro, playwright
Tennessee Williams, the Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Katharine
Hepburn got one hour each when they were spotlighted on the same show.
Frankly, I'm concerned. Have a good weekend. Make me feel famous and
sign the guestbook. Name: (D) BobbyR President Bush has selected California Rep. Christopher Cox to become
Chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission. Not that I really
care about that news, but it sure as hell gave me a great excuse to
write that headline. Enjoy your day. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC After all my years in broadcasting, the power of a single TV image and the difficulty of changing images in the minds of people in power never cease to amaze me. It's June now. This coming Friday, June 4th, marks the one year anniversary of when I got the phone call from a Food Network VP with the unfortunate news that "Top 5" was not being renewed for another cycle. Even though repeats of the show still air once a week, I started looking for a new job a year ago this month. Yesterday was the last day of work for the longtime anchor of the Fox
5 local morning news show I worked on for five years. Some of us *graduates*
were asked to make guest surprise appearances for his goodbye program.
Executives and producers I hadn't seen since 1999 congratulated me on
how well I'm doing. It was rather comical. No one asked how work is
going for me. With the Food Network repeats and repeats of segments
I did for our local PBS station, I was greeted with the assumption "Things
must be going great! I see you on TV all the time!" In reality,
I'm applying for unemployment this week -- the first time I've done
that since 1991. A former co-worker who saw me cover entertainment from
1995-1999 actually pitched an idea for a food show to me, as if I'd
become a cooking expert like Emeril. Keep in mind, all that happened
within the walls of a business built to keep the public informed, aware
and thinking. I didn't keep my non-work status a secret. Quietly, I
did tell a few producers and do some networking while I was there. I
have to now that I've bid adieu to ICM. My agent is a sweet and lovely
woman, however this is business. I've been jobhunting for one year and
taking acting classes to strengthen and sharpen my talents. In that
year, she's gotten me only three auditions. That's not good for my business.
I had to make a change. Here's a question for you that came to me yesterday
when I revisited Fox 5 TV -- with all the modes of faster communication
we have today ...from the computer to the cell phone to extra cable
channels talking to us 'round the clock....do you feel that people are
really paying attention more than they did ten years ago? Think about
it. And sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: USA What a week! If you scroll a couple of entries down, you'll see one entitled "O-MITTED?" I wanted to know if Oscar-winner Whoopi Goldberg had been invited to the sensational Legends Ball thrown by fellow Oscar-nominee from THE COLOR PURPLE, Oprah Winfrey. Whoopi has won an Oscar®, a Tony, an Emmy and a Grammy. I didn't see her in any of the Legends Ball footage...but I did see Janet Jackson, Alicia Keyes and Dionne Warwick. You never know who's paying attention and who isn't. My ICM agent never got around to reading any of my blogs this year...BUT WHOOPI GOLDBERG PAID ATTENTION TO MY "O-MITTED?" BLOG!!!!!!! Tom Leonardis, the president of her production company logged on, read it, alerted The Whoopster, and contacted me with a request for my address. The legendary Ms. Goldberg sent me a big box of gourmet chocolate-flavored teas from a boutique shop here in New York City with a thank you note. My jaw dropped down to my toenails when I got that delivery. It proved that whether you're a job-seeking working class guy like I or an award-winning showbiz icon like she is, we're all in need of little appreciation and attention for hard work well done. Thank you, Whoopi Goldberg, so very much. If you get HBO, another Oscar-winning legend heads the cast of a solid
tele-movie that premieres Saturday. This is Memorial Day weekend. My late father served in World War II.
He fought for democracy and freedom in the segregated American troops.
Today, there's a new war being fought overseas for democracy by totally
integrated American troops, integrated racially and sexually. Having
a kind thought and saying a prayer for our folks in uniform, past and
present, would be a very civilized thing to do. Keep that in mind. I'll
also be praying for an end to war. Enjoy your weekend...and sign the
guestbook. Reporting in from: Manhattan Cheers, Tom. Here's to you for finding a new sweetheart. Did you see him on with Oprah this week? Didn't you just want to shout "Yo, Top Gun! Switch to decaf!"? He was bubbly, bouncy and boyishly proclaiming his love for actress Katie Holmes. For decades, he's been such a private movie star. Nowadays, he's appearing everywhere with Katie. She walked on near the end of his hour with Oprah. I think they're scheduled to show up at the Kleinman Bar Mitzvah this weekend in Sherman Oaks, California. How do I feel about his "Oprah" appearance? It was the stuff that "Saturday Night Live" sketches are made of. He wouldn't stop jumping up and down and giggling. He never did answer her direct question, "How did you two meet?" Instead, he'd break out laughing and then talk about something else. I still think it was either Match.com or they met at Blockbuster one night when he was renting BATTLEFIELD EARTH. Tom and Katie have no problem with PDA's -- Public Displays of Affection.
They're a great photo op and they got thunderous applause from Oprah's
hyper audience. Personally, all that smooching makes me squirm and I
don't know why. When I see Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes kissing, I get
that same strange feeling I had in a movie theater back in '92 seeing
Jodie Foster have sex with Richard Gere in SOMMERSBY. I felt like saying
"Look....I know you two talented actors are totally committed in
this love scene, but it's kinda creeping me out. Like if I caught my
mother using a crackpipe." It just seems wrong, but that's just
me. Let's move on and wish those two crazy kids a fine romance -- and
great box office for the big-budget movies that they both have coming
out this summer. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: The Big Apple I admit it, I am addicted to Oprah. Love me some O! It's a very important show in that she makes a point of introducing us to cultures, voices and parts of the world that we've been unaware of -- cultures, voices and parts of the world that have been ignored or omitted from some network media's A-List of Significance. Like the problems of poverty, AIDS and genocide in Africa and Muslim women in the Middle East being punished for daring to read. Yes, to read. Oprah had a Legends Ball in Santa Barbara this month and the highlights will be shown on Tuesday's program. It looks beyond sensational. She invited 25 of her personal heroes -- African-American women who've contributed to arts, entertainment and civil rights. Present were Maya Angelou, Tina Turner, Halle Berry, Della Reese, Nancy Wilson, Missy Elliott, Ashanti, Kimora Lee with husband Russell Simmons, Ashanti and Mariah Carey to name a few. OK....is it just me or is 2-time Oscar nominee and co-star from THE COLOR PURPLE Whoopi Goldberg not on the list? I haven't read her name in any of the press and I didn't see her in any of the TV promos. Was she there? Was she unable to attend? Was she omitted? I believe Whoopi may be the only Black woman to have more than one Oscar® nomination to her credit. She was nominated for THE COLOR PURPLE. When she won for Best Supporting Actress in GHOST, she became the first Black woman to get the Oscar in 50 years. Later, she was the first Black woman to host the Academy Awards all by herself. Onscreen, she played the wife of slain 1960s civil rights activist Medgar Evers in GHOSTS OF MISSISSIPPI. On TV, she was the first African-American to produce a successful revival of a classic gameshow, "The Hollywood Squares", and also to appear on it as a regular. On Broadway, last year she had a 20th anniversary revival of the hit one-woman show she did, directed by Mike Nichols. Once again, I didn't see Whoopi Goldberg in any of the promos, but I did see Mariah Carey. GLITTER....THE COLOR PURPLE....GLITTER......THE COLOR PURPLE. Hmmmmmmm. Personally, Oprah AND Whoopi have helped open doors for Black performers
like me and I appreciate them both. I wish they'd look at my resumé
and hook a brutha up with an audition. I haven't had any work in months
and I might have to start opening doors in a uniform to pay the rent.
Hey, that's showbiz. Enjoy your weekend. Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: New York City Yes, Christina, you are indeed correct. Tom Cruise was seen onscreen shouting "I love black people!" However, some of us wish the same could be said of Vicente Fox, the President of Mexico. In a speech last week, El Presidente reportedly said that Mexican immigrants here in the U.S. will take jobs that "not even blacks" will do. Personally, I'm stunned that a major political figure would say something like that in public. In my experience, that kind of ignorant comment has usually been uttered behind closed doors -- by TV news executives here in New York City. Tom Cruise shouted that line in the excellent romantic comedy JERRY MAGUIRE. He's going to be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show next week. Monday, I believe. Chosen audience members and, possibly, some viewers will be allowed to ask the movie superstar one question they've always wanted to ask. Unfortunately, my lawyer tells me that I can't print the one question I've always wanted Tom Cruise to answer. Damn! It was a good one too. I'm sure you've heard that Tom is now dating former DAWSON'S CREEK actress, Katie Holmes. She's a young virgin and he's a sterile middle-aged man. Well, there you have it -- another happy ending from Match.Com. Take care of yourself, Christina, and thanks for signing the guestbook.
Adios! Name: Sweet BobbyR During on-camera time that included the line "Show me the money," which one of the following individuals was seen shouting "I love black people!"? 1. Leonardo DiCaprio To submit your answer, just sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: USA My wonderful friend Mary down in Florida once asked me a great question
about when I was a high schooler and dreamed of taking acting classes.
"What were the seminal performances for you given by actresses?"
One was and is definitely the role of Bree, the call girl being hunted
by a killer in the movie KLUTE. If you've never seen that 1971 Oscar-winning
performance, you should. Today's young actresses should study it. Jane
Fonda had been one of my favorite movie stars because you could count
on her for fluffy, amusing sex comedies like TALL STORY, ANY WEDNESDAY,
SUNDAY IN NEW YORK or CAT BALLOU. She was a hot babe. Then there could
be some silly sci-fi adventure like BARBARELLA. In KLUTE, she really
confirmed that she was a serious, skilled actress. I remember being
so affected by her work, sitting by myself in Inglewood's Academy Theater
on a Saturday afternoon. In the scenes with her shrink, she didn't even
seem like she was acting. She brought out the character's toughness,
vulnerability, her compassion, fear and self-delusion. With KLUTE, THEY
SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY?, COMING HOME, THE CHINA SYNDROME and Fonda's
awesome turn in a TV adaptation of A DOLL'S HOUSE, she became just as
much an acting legend as her dad, Henry Fonda. But her politics often
eclipsed her work. Not her feminism, but her controversial anti-Viet
Nam war protests. She was one of those Hollywood stars who got involved
with the social/financial plight of Black people like myself living
in South Central L.A. We were acutely aware of an ecomonic apartheid,
if you will, here in America. Life in the Watts area of Los Angeles
was not easy. But you could get a good education there, even if you
didn't have access to the financial aid that kids in upscale white neighborhoods
did. I got a good education in Watts and I went away to college. One
day, Jane Fonda came to that college -- Marquette University in Milwaukee
-- to speak. She was married to Tom Hayden at the time. I was thrilled.
I was a contributor to the student paper. Not just thrilled to see one
of my favorite actresses in person, but thrilled that I might meet and
get a statement from her for the paper at a small reception in her honor
before her appearance. I was surprised that, at the reception, she chatted
with the university high rollers and paid no attention to little guys
like me even though she'd been speaking up for little guys like me to
the press for years. At the reception, she seemed very much like...well,
like a movie star used to special treatment. She and Hayden spoke very
passionately about liberal politics. She was just as surprised as I'd
been at the reception when some of the questions were rather conservative
from an audience full of students. Reagan, who'd been my boyhood governor,
was now running for president for the first time. Jane asked, "If
the election was held tomorrow...just wondering...how many of you would
vote for Ronald Reagan." The applause was thunderous. Her face
fell like a lead balloon. In my broadcast career, I interviewed her
when she promoted films in the 80s. There was always something very
cold and detached about her. Something not quite at ease. And, although
she was an ardent self-promoter of her films, new workout books or whatever...the
woman who was so incendiary in performance was kinda boring in person.
She took herself way too seriously. When I worked for Lifetime TV in
2000, Fonda made an apperance for an anniversary screening of 9 TO 5
here in Chelsea. I was assigned to do red carpet. I was hoping she wouldn't
be there, because she's such a heavy piece of furniture to talk to.
Plus I'd seen her do something rude in non-national red carpet-type
situations. If she didn't feel like answering a question (and it could've
been a respectable, polite question), she'd just walk away. Jane was
there. I asked her if she'd be making a comeback. At the time, she answered
"No." She was still married to Ted Turner. I thought to myself,
"Girrl, you got some money. Can't you get hooked up with a good
moisturizer?" That face looked stressed. Up close, she had lines
you could plant winter wheat in. I wondered if she was happy. I didn't
ask. Instead, I started to ask about the old Jane Fonda WorkOut Club
franchise...and she walked away. In mid-question, she walked away. What
I did I do? In front of other reporters, I shouted after her, "Oh,
no you didn't, Barbarella!" I think they kept that in when the
piece aired on Lifetime. I went inside to talk to Lily Tomlin and later,
off-camera, Fonda did make nice with me and give me an autograph. She
autographed a photo I'd brought along, one taken of me in front of the
Beverly Hills Jane Fonda WorkOut Club. Before it closed. In interviews
promoting her current best-selling autobiography, she looks better and
she's very honest. I want to read the book. Her comeback comedy, MONSTER-IN-LAW,
did well at the box office. I'm sure she's getting other scripts now.
She was on HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" a couple of weeks
ago. He asked her if it's true she once painted her front door to look
like a vagina. The audience broke out laughing. She semi-smiled and
enthusiastically explained that, while appearing in a production of
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES, her feminism had recharged and she decided to
re-do her front door, which had an oval design. She gave it a new coat
of paint --pink paint -- and later realized that it did indeed look
rather sexual, adding that she must've been subconciously motivated
by the play she was doing. With Groucho Marx quickness, Maher replied,
"So what's the back door look like?" The audience and I howled.
Jane just looked straight ahead like she was posing for Mount Rushmore.
It's good to have her on the big screen again and I'm glad her book
is doing well, but Jane Fonda's gotta lighten up or else she's be that
emotionally cold and uptight character she continues to say that her
dad was. "So what's the back door look like?" Now THAT'S funny.
Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: NYC Today is Friday the 13th, so I thought I'd update you on my career luck. At the beginning of this year, I gave myself six months to turn my career around. "Top 5" was unexpectedly dropkicked from the Food Network production schedule last June. I've been jobhunting ever since. I'm taking acting classes at TVI Studios here in Manhattan. It's some of the hardest work I've ever loved. Being that most of my classmates are about 23, I've become a mini-middle-aged legend on my block for daring to enroll in classes to become to better performer in an industry known for its relentless obsession with youth and slimness. My six months are almost up. How's my luck been? I try to avoid the sneaky feeling that if Jesus Christ came back to earth and took over as my broadcast agent, He'd say "Look, pal, I keep sending out your demo tape but it's like casting pearls before swine. Satan is making executives worship false idols. Carson Daly has a talkshow. Ryan Seacrest got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Paris Hilton signed with a major agency. If that's not the work of Beelzebub, I don't know what is. I'm trying hard to get you a new job here in New York but, honestly, I think I'd have an easier time turning some tap water into a really good Chardonnay. Let's see what Monday brings. In the meantime, get some rest over the weekend. And have a Good Friday." Sometimes keeping the faith is the biggest challenge of all. Still,
it's a challenge I've got to accept. Wish me luck. The same to you.
Sign the guestbook. Reporting in from: Manhattan I'm a happy guy. I saw Paul Newman in person with his totally cool wife and acting partner, Joanne Woodward. A friend invited me to be her date at the premiere party for HBO's adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize-winning book, "Empire Falls." I never read the book but the movie, produced by and starring Newman, is so damn good it makes me want to run out and buy a copy. The screening was held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Lots of high rollers from the TV industry. Mainly executive branch but some on-camera types too. I got to shake hands and chat ever-so-briefly with the now bone-thin Bryant Gumble. Ever since he took his second trip down the altar, he's been on a strict diet. In the old NBC days, seeing that man stride in dapper attire past a greenroom snack table, pick up a donut and devour it on the way to his seat on the "Today" set while a crewmember gave him a 1-minute countdown was poetry in motion. I also met his lovely new wife. He always did have a hankerin' for blondes, bless his heart. There was a party with excellent food after the premiere. My date and I walked in right behind Philip Seymour Hoffman who stars in the feature and gives, as usual, a solid performance. At the bar, we stood next to famous playwright Neil Simon and his umpteenth new wife. EMPIRE FALLS is the name of a small town full of working class residents and rich folks who have known their share of heartache through years and years of economic highs and lows. The film also shows that the past is a hard chain to shake loose. It really does shackle you as you try to walk up a ladder of life, a ladder of years. At some point, you must confront it to set your spirit free. You feel the grip of family, religion and social class in this drama. Those are powerful forces One main town figure is seen as passive. We see that his personality is the way it is because it's been shaped for decades by those very forces. And he's not as passive as they might think when we see his past. Most of the castmembers were present, which is unsual for a preview party. So, they must've loved doing EMPIRE FALLS. We applauded Aidan Quinn, Robin Wright Penn, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Estelle Parsons, Helen Hunt, Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman. If you get HBO and you like Helen Hunt, catch this when it airs. She does her best screen work since AS GOOD AS IT GETS. Hers is a tough role. She plays the ex-wife to Ed Harris' character. The woman is still bitter at the divorce even though she's engaged to a goofy new dude. Her bitterness is rooted in romantic disappointment, which Hunt accurately conveys. If a lesser actress had done the role, the ex-wife could've come off as just a loud bitch. Woodward is so fabulous and flinty as a cold millionairness spiritually decayed by her own power that she makes you pissed that the power boys who run the entertainment business can't come up with juicy acting roles for women over 65. And she looks great. Then there's Paul Newman. Some of the greatest childhood |