Casino tycoon Steve Wynn had just finalized a $139 million sale of a Picasso painting he owns when he accidentally poked a hole in the artwork while showing it to friends in his Las Vegas office. This is exactly why God created paintings of Elvis on black velvet for heterosexual men — so tragedies like that would be averted. Elvis on black velvet and those framed portraits of sad clowns that the late comedian Red Skelton used to paint. No self-respecting gay man with half a brain would have an unprotected Picasso in his office. In Vegas. You just don’t hang a Picasso in any city where Fred Travelena was considered to be a top booking. There ought to be a law.
I understand your great distress at this careless act of destruction, but honey, they don’t make condoms for paintings. The best protection would be for Steve Wynn to abstain from owning good art.