Archive for December, 2008

Brad Pitt: Buttoned Up

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

Today was a day of high points. First, I filled with pride to see that President-Elect Barack Obama is Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. Who says that black folks are never on Time? This afternoon, I saw Brad Pitt look old and wrinkly. Just like a black President-Elect, it was another sight I never expected to see in my lifetime.

Brad Pitt’s new movie is called “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” It could’ve also been called “Doesn’t He Look Great For His Age?” If you really loved “Forrest Gump,” you’ll love Pitt’s new film. It’s practically a knock-off version of the Tom Hanks blockbuster with a little Big thrown in for added pleasure. There’s a reason why it’s so Gump-like. That film and Pitt’s were written by the same man — Eric Roth. This fantasy film tries for epic romance and tragedy but misses because it is so undeniably similar to “Forrest Gump.” To me, that’s an obstacle for the talented cast.

I’m a Tom Hanks fan. However, I had reservations about seeing him as Forrest Gump. I’d read the novel in one weekend. Winston Groom’s book about the Southern character had me howling with laughter with its cynicism and satire. Forrest is a massive blond bohunk, built something like former pro-wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. He’s also an idiot savant. In the novel, Forrest says “Being an idiot is no box of chocolates.” Besides his savant qualities, he’s also been blessed with an appendage to rival porn star Dirk Diggler’s in “Boogie Nights.” Due to his idiot side, Forrest doesn’t understand why women who see it want to be on him like he’s an amusement park ride. The novel is a series of episodes with Forrest leaving his greedy old mama, becoming a soldier, an astronaut, a pro wrestler, a shady politician and even landing in Hollywood to make a cheesey movie with a temperamental new sex symbol named Raquel Welch. THAT was one funny episode. Two minutes into the film adaptation, I knew that it would be something altogether different. The novel is unsentimental. The same cannot be written about the Tom Hanks film version. If hardcore fans of the film purchased the paperback copy of the book, I’m sure they were greatly disappointed. I loved the novel. I appreciated the writer adding a splash of vinegar to the collard greens. The movie (and, again, I dig Hanks bigtime) was a lot of molasses on the cornbread. One sample is the sweetened line for the movie, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” is adapted from a 1920s story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. However, the movie opens in New Orleans with the imminent approach of Hurricane Katrina and then takes us back to World War I. The heart of the story is about the true nature of love and how it goes beyond limitations of age and race. To get the point across, we meet Benjamin, a male who is born old with all the infirmities of age and becomes younger as he gets older. I’ve never read the Fitzgerald story but, with the Hurricane Katrina element, one can tell that Eric Roth took great liberties with the Fitzgerald source material as he did with the Winston Groom novel. I got the feeling that he took his screenplay elements that helped trigger a box office bonanza back in 1994 and flat-out repeated them.

We have the elderly Southern woman on her deathbed revealing golden moments of her life. We have a non-Southern Oscar winner playing a Southern woman. In “Forrest Gump,” it was Sally Field. In “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” Cate Blanchett sounds a tad like Olympia Dukakis in “Steel Magnolias.” We have the sympathetic Southern man-child outcast lead character with a leg disability. We see him befriended by a black man who introduces him to something new and adventurous. The lovable outcast winds up on a boat. We have the major passage of time with love, war, birth, death and different styles of music through the years. Instead of a white feather, like we got at the open and end of Bob Zemeckis’ “Forrest Gump,” we get a hummingbird. One more thing — like Bob Zemeckis’ film, David Fincher has directed a long movie. It takes Brad Pitt 2 hours and 40 minutes to age as Benjamin Button. He may get younger but you don’t sitting through this thing. The production is quite handsome, if heavy on the sepia tones. Pitt is good and, as far as his movie star appeal, he is gourmet eye-candy in the last half of the film. One romantic montage recalls a similar montage in “The Way We Were” with Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand. When the camera cuts to one of the scrumptious close-ups of Pitt on a sailboat, you expect to hear a commercial announcer say “Eternity…by Calvin Klein.”

This performance seems to be an attempt by Pitt to play something that matches a new spiritual center he’s found in his own off-screen life. There’s a fine warmth to his work here. Nonetheless, the part must have appealed to his actor’s vanity. He’s the star and he ages in reverse while everyone else ages normally. When he’s a drop dead gorgeous young man, the leading lady starts looking like Norma Desmond. Blanchett plays Daisy, a ballet dancer who becomes an original castmember in the revolutionary Rodgers & Hammerstein 1940s Broadway musical “Carousel.” A native Southerner, she goes to New York and has a bohemian phase. Daisy is to Benjamin what Robin Wright Penn’s Jenny was to Tom Hanks’ Forrest. It’s the ultimate May-December romance — only Daisy wonders if, one day, she’ll have to burp and diaper the man she loves. I’ve heard that Catherine Zeta-Jones often wonders the same thing. Taraji P. Henson, who was expertly vulgar and endearing as the ghetto fabulous girlfriend opposite Don Cheadle in “Talk To Me,” is quite touching as Queenie, Benjamin’s mother figure. The actress is younger than Pitt. Tilda Swinton has a lovely turn as an unhappily married but socially comfortable British wife whose plain looks cover up a passionate spirit waiting to be lit up again. Swinton never looked more glamorous in the kind of supporting role that Deborah Kerr would’ve portrayed in the late 1940s.

To me, the movie doesn’t hit the emotional bullseye because the script seems to fall back on old tricks that worked before. You keep waiting for the next “Forrest Gump”-like element. It’s a calculated screenplay. Not so much original art as it is “paint-by-the-numbers” output for popular mass consumption. Also, Eric Roth’s script telegraphs key scenes. When you see lightning and hear thunder, you know that heartbreak’s a comin’. That happens more than once. Overall, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” is enjoyable with its “You never know what’s in store for you” message. For a holiday release, this movie is rather like a sweet little gift that came in an over-sized designer box with deluxe wrapping. After you’ve opened it and pushed aside all the tissue paper, you kind of expected something more.

George W. Bush, The Artful Dodger

Monday, December 15th, 2008

Just like thousands of America’s men and women in the Army Reserves, President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq. Only he didn’t have to engage in combat. But he did have to avoid an oncoming shoe.

Heaven forgive me. Am I the only person who keeps laughing hysterically at that news footage? And, considering how quick W was to dodge the footwear, something tells me he’s had shoes hurled at him before. I’m just sayin’. He’s a Christian, so I hope he thanked Jesus that Iraqis don’t wear shoes like Herman Munster. Also, can you imagine if he had declared war in Holland back in 2002 and made a surprise visit there over the weekend? I don’t think he could have survived a pair of wooden shoes thrown at him.

Well…Mr. President is fine. After the incident, he was taken to the nearest Baghdad Payless for observation. Fox News is reporting today that some Iraqis claim to have seen a golf cleat on a grassy knoll just two blocks away.

My sources tell me that Oliver Stone will direct a new film about that third shoe conspiracy theory based on his original screenplay. Have a good week and happy holidays.

Life in the Middle Ages

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

There’s an old saying that goes “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

I don’t know who said it. I think it came from the Mary Kay Letourneau case. Be that as it may, the point is this — when you’re ready to make a change and embrace something new, someone will come along to help you make that move. A few years ago, when I realized that I’d rather accidentally drop a bowling bowl on my foot than return to the grind of working on an early morning local newscast again, I enrolled in some affordable acting classes. I wanted to learn what casting people were responding to and looking for when casting commercials and such. The lessons I learned from sharp, knowledgeable teachers were worth the money. This year, I booked role in two national commercials. Also, I made my official comic acting debut playing Prof. Robert Haige for “In The Know” satirical news sketches on the website for The Onion. This week, I booked another acting role for an industrial. In “industrial” is sort of a not-for-broadcast informercial made for events or corporations. For instance, if you got a job working for a company called DiskoTek, part of your employee orientation might have you viewing a video on DiskoTek benefits featuring actors playing employees. I shoot the industrial later this month. The two TV commercials and the sketches for The Onion were all national features. Not bad considering that I’m not signed with an agent.

In the meantime, like thousands and thousands of others, I was forced to put my pride in my back pocket and apply for unemployment benefits. I’ve not had full time work since a bunch of us on a morning radio show got downsized when the show was cancelled in April. I haven’t needed unemployment benefits since 1991. It was hard to fill out the application without feeling my mansack shrink to the size of two Raisinettes by the time I completed the last page. I pride myself on always being able to land work. This year has been brutal.

After completing the nine or so online pages, came the notice that I had to speak to an unemployment office rep in person. It took me a day and a half to get through to someone. From 8a to 5p on Monday, every time I called, I got the recording stating that all the representatives were so busy dealing with new applicants that the best thing to do would be to call again in 20 minutes. Late Tuesday morning, bingo! The recording told me to hold on for…..25 minutes…for the next available representative. I did.

It occurred to me that the unemployment office is way understaffed and needs to hire more people to handle the large volume of New Yorkers who are unemployed. That is too ironic even for Alanis Morissette.