Letters From Bobby

NY Governor Eliot Spitzer apologized today to all of New York and announced that his resignation will be effective this coming Monday. He didn’t mention that he was involved with prostitutes and spent $80,000 on “escort services,” but he did say that he’s going to atone.

I think I would’ve believed him if he hadn’t held the press conference at Hooters.

My sources have confirmed that these are the Top 5 Tunes currently on NY Governor Eliot Spitzer’s iPod:

5. “She Works Hard for the Money”

4. “Stand By Your Man”

3. “(I’m Bringing) SexyBack”

2. “Hey Big Spender”

1. “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp”

Please keep in mind that my sources drink.

Wherever you are in the country, I’m sure you heard about the major mess New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer brought onto himself. At first, many of us New Yorkers thought he had a one-time encounter with a prostitute. Late yesterday afternoon, the local news reported that he’d been a repeat client and had dropped at least $80,000.

His face was on the cover of yesterday’s New York Post with this headline: “Ho No!”

The governor has not resigned. Reportedly, he’s trying to work out a deal with the Feds. The fact that he’s not resigned with all these revelations is a sign of major ego. He’s in his upper East Side apartment currently. Today will be a busy local news day. If his wife was Black, he’d be sitting up in that apartment right now looking like Mrs. Bates in the last 10 minutes of Psycho.

But that’s just me.

Today’s bombshell news bulletin about our New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer made a lot of us feel like we’d been whacked on the head with a cartoon mallet like in a Bugs Bunny vs Elmer Fudd feature. It just seemed to come out of nowhere and left us dazed. He revealed that he was involved with a prostitution ring and apologized. He did not resign. He apologized but didn’t resign and didn’t say what the involvement was. I immediately wondered if he hired a hooker — or worked as a hooker because he’s a family man and the economy under this Republican administration is so dismal that we’re all doing what we can for a little extra income. Seriously, this Spitzer news did not make it a good day for us Democrats. All of us New Yorkers have had a very unusual set of sexual images to deal with from our elected officials.

Let me use a few pictures to show you what I mean. Here’s a picture of former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey with his then-wife and their little baby

– and here’s a picture of Gov. McGreevey with his former boyfriend when he was on the governor’s payroll.

Here’s Rudy Giuliani when he was the Mayor of New York. Even Jesus wept.

Here’s a photo of New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, perhaps showing why he needed to hire a hooker.

If he does step down, this is the Lt. Gov. David Paterson, the legally blind Black man who will assume the governor’s position and fulfill the rest of Spitzer’s term.

And this a photo of the cast of Benson, starring Robert Guilliame as the butler for a governor in a classic ABC sitcom. Somehow it all seems to connect. But that’s just me.