If you get QVC, you can see my co-worker and buddy make her debut on that cable channel tonight — 7:00 ET. Whoopi Goldberg debuts her line of bedding products. No kidding! That’s tonight, Friday, at 7:00.
Tune in to see how to get a little Whoopi in your bedroom.
It’s official.
Sunday night’s Oscar telecast on ABC lasted longer than Pamela Anderson’s most recent marriage. She is currently seeking an annulment.
#1: Katherine Heigl
#2: The Queen — senior babe Helen Mirren
#3: Reneé Zellweger
#4: Hilary Swank (her dresses are better than her Oscar acceptance speeches)
#5: Jessica Alba
Jennifer Hudson showed what you can put together by snatching a tablecloth from the cancelled Vanity Fair Oscar Party and getting a cinch belt from Old Navy. After the show, Aretha Franklin called her and said that she wanted her tits back.
Tilda Swinton — fabulous actress who deserved that Oscar for her fabulous performance in “Michael Clayton.” But, in the fashion department, she looked like Woody Woodpecker at the funeral of Cock Robin.
I am so excited about tomorrow night’s telecast of The Oscars. So far, I predict that there will be surprises. Many critics feel that Amy Ryan will win Best Supporting Actress for “Gone Baby Gone.” I think Ruby Dee will take it for “American Gangster.” She’s been a film and stage actress for decades. In 1961, she recreated her Broadway role in the film version of “A Raisin in the Sun” opposite Sidney Poitier. P Diddy stars in the remake on ABC coming up soon. From that to Spike Lee’s “Do The Right Thing,” she’s done great work and has never ever been nominated. Hell, Hilary Swank got two Oscars by the time she was 30. I think Ruby could be a surprise winner. Besides, the Oscars have been moved up to February, which is Black History Month. Hollywood likes to consider itself liberal, so the supporting awards will go to minorities — Ruby for “American Gangster” and Hispanic actor Javier Bardem for “No Country For Old Men.”
Best Actor? Daniel Day-Lewis. He deserves it. Best Actress? I wish there would be a tie like in 1968 with Barbra Streisand and Katharine Hepburn. I’d like Julie Christie and Ellen Page to tie. If they don’t, it’ll go to Julie Christie. Christie got one in the 1960s. Back then, she was a hot babe — a hot babe who could really act. She was a big movie star and could’ve been even bigger probably had she lived in Hollywood. But, a hippie at heart, she chose to live in her native England, have a farm and a personal life. Top directors and actors pursued her for roles that ultimately went to other actress. Christie worked when she wanted to and never raised a fuss. Well over 50, she’s still hip and cool. And she’s played a character stricken with a disease. Hollywood loves a disease, weight gain and a handicaps. Think Tom Hanks, Robert DeNiro, Jamie Foxx, Hilary Swank, Marlee Matlin and Patty Duke. If Meryl Streep played a British woman who was fat, deaf, blind, HIV positive and had a spinal cord injury that resulted from an accident during the Special Olympics, the other nominees wouldn’t even bother showing up.
I think the most incendiary category will be Best Documentary. There are three docs about the war in Iraq up for the Oscar. “No End In Sight” is a must-see documentary. When I saw it, audience members were so angry at the information revealed about Washington’s lack of intelligence before dropkicking us into the war that folks were shouting at the screen. I love when film strikes a nerve. There were only three documentaries made about the VietNam war during that entire conflict. There are three about Iraq in the field of five this year alone. If “No End In Sight” wins, I predict that filmmaker will make an anti-Iraq war statement during his acceptance speech that gets him drowned out by music.
One more thing — I predict that Tilda Swinton will wear something that looks like it was designed by Stevie Wonder. But that’s just me.
Thursday night — and I don’t know which reality game show to watch…”American Idol” on Fox or the presidential debates on CNN.
I’m watching Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton debate. Part of me wishes they’d stop talking and challenge each other doing songs from the 1960s like the kids on “American Idol” did. I bet it would draw a bigger audience and more of America’s youth would pay attention to current politics. Think about it — make our presidential hopefuls do competitive singing…and invite viewers to call in their votes.
They may be technologically advanced with Blackberries and such, but doesn’t it scare you that many of today’s youth probably thinks that Castro and the Bay of Pigs is a cartoon series on Nickelodeon? Frankly, I’m concerned.
A friend and former co-worker talked me into MySpace. He said that it would put me in touch with fellow performer/writers and we could help and emotionally support each other. He was right.
So, if you’re on MySpace.com, look for BobbyRiversTV. Remember to add the TV.
I put the TV on there because there’s a middle-aged white dude with a mullet on the radio in Seattle named Bob Rivers. He’s been in radio since the ’80s and he records song parodies. Some folks — like those in a department at our AFTRA union — have gotten us confused for about a decade. I know — my pic is on the homepage — but, if you don’t believe me, read the recent message in my guestbook section from someone in Vienna, Virginia. See you on MySpace.
Fidel Castro, who’s been running Cuba since before some of us were born, has called it quits. The leader, who has seen many of our American presidents come and go during his presidency, has announced that he is retiring.
My sources tell me that he’s been offered a special contributor spot for yet another new hour of NBC’s Today show will Matt Lauer, Meredith Viera, Al Roker and Tiki Barber. When asked to confirm this rumor, Al Roker said “I can’t say if it is true, but I sure do love a good Cuban! Can I get some brandy too?” Then he proceeded to howl with laughter at his own joke for about 2 to 3 minutes. Lauer and Viera could not be reached for comment. Barber asked what team Castro had played for. There’s also industry buzz that the iconic Cuban leader could get his own morning show to go up against Live: With Regis and Kelly and Fox’s Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. If that is true, my sources tell me that Fidel! could debut in time to take advantage of May sweeps. My sources also tell me that Lisa Rinna, Jessica Simpson and Carnie Wilson are in discussions to be his co-host.
But, then, my sources drink. Adios.
Molly Ringwald turns 40 today. Wow.
40 y/ former sitcom star Gary Coleman revealed that he’s married. He married a 22 y/o woman named Shannon. Such are the ways of love.
The morning after they said “I do,” how do you think she felt when she turned over in bed and saw Gary Coleman lying next to her? Did she have the feeling of contentment? Just curious.
That’s a line of dialogue sweet, little Abigail Breslin has in the new romantic comedy Definitely, Maybe. She poses that question to her divorced dad, played by Ryan Reynolds, as he tells her about the girlfriends he had before he married her mom. I reviewed the movie today on Whoopi Goldberg’s radio show. (They just love us in Pueblo, Colorado.)
If you want to read a print version of my reviews for Definitely, Maybe and The Spiderwick Chronicles, just go here –
www.whoopi.com/rivers.html
By the way…Daddy Ryan never answered his daughter’s question in the movie. Here’s an answer from Uncle Bobby: ManHo.
If you have a better one, let me know.