Letters From Bobby

The number of people onstage at the Democratic National Convention last night in Denver when a radiant Michelle Obama gave an impressive, inspiring and historical speech as the first Black woman who could become the First Lady: 1 (Michelle Obama)

The number of Black journalists seen on ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN combined as anchors covering that historical live moment in American history on television last night: 0

The closest we got to a minority anchor on a network last night covering the DNL was George Stephanopoulos. Now there’s a story that should be covered by a TV columnist.

I was drained by the time I got home last evening. I got to do another day of comedy work for The Onion. I love doing that work — especially since I was reunited with some of the actors with whom I worked the first time around. Time flew by quickly. The previous ensemble shoot I’d done with them was one year ago. In the production crew, there were many new faces and obviously a new, no frills catering company (hey — let’s not forget we’re in a recession.) Because a year had gone by, the director gave me a lot of specific notes yesterday until I delivered the exact performance he wanted. Grating? Not a bit. Because I have a certain energy, many times my performance has been “just fine” according to the folks around me. That’s mainly because my upbeat personality and ease at reading copy made their job easier. Our director for The Onion realizes that, with rehearsal and direction, I can make some “just fine” turn into something better. I need that and have wanted that as a performer. Yesterday’s work was a big blessing — and not just financially. The scripts were good and challenging.

Tonight, I’ll be watching the Democratic National Convention. You have to admit, history will be made. Even 20 years ago, if Barack Obama and Joe Biden walked into an office together, no one would have expected that they’ be running for the two highest offices in The White House. They would’ve thought Barack and Joe were auditioning to play the Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte characters in a network TV series version of “48 Hours.” In the meantime, I’m off to seek more employment.

If you’re into classic Hollywood, actor Van Johnson is 92 today. I bet his birthday cake tonight looks just like a forest fire. Hopefully, he’ll have a little help blowing out the candles.

I emailed this to Cubby, Cindy and Matt, my three buddies who entertain New Yorkers and others every weekday morning on WKTU/103.5 FM radio: “…do NOT be surprised if Tom Cruise gets a Golden Globe nomination for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy. Yes, you read that correctly.”

The terrific radio team read that last Wednesday morning on the air in my short review that described Ben Stiller’s new comedy, Tropic Thunder, as wildly funny. Robert Downey, Jr playing a Black man slams across one of the funniest screen comedy performances I’ve seen this year or even saw last year. The same goes for the nasty, nasty, nasty surprise guest appearance by Tom Cruise. Brilliant!

An harried British director is at wits’ end trying to get a group of neurotic Hollywood actors through the unlucky production of a Vietnam war epic on location. Something goes horribly wrong and the clueless actors are left to direct themselves. That’s all I’m going to tell you. Reviewers, entertainment bloggers and Terry Gross on National Public Radio will inevitably give away too much.

I will give you this. If you like the current hit song “Low” by Flo Rida, you will never think of it the same way again after you see Tom Cruise’s character dance to it in Tropic Thunder. I will definitely be seeing it again. Bravo, Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Brandon T. Jackson (as rapper/actor “Alpa Chino”) and Mr. Cruise! Your new pic’s a hit.

www.TropicThunder.com

Go to the satirical news website if you want to see me as the clueless intellectual, Professor Robert Haige, in a panel discussion about how the Beijing Olympics are really a trap like in a 1940s war movie.

It’s another “In The Know” comedy sketch for The Onion. A friend called me from Arkansas on Thursday afternoon to tell me that it had just been shown on MSNBC. I’d love to put some of these segments on my demo reel, but I can figure out how. Oh well…here comes the link:

www.theonion.com

When you get to the site, look for the videos in the middle of the page and click on the Beijing Olympics logo. Let me know what you think. Have a mighty fine weekend.

PS Stay through the very short DVD movie commercial at the end. It’s followed by a bonus clip of the “In The Know” panel.

I got to stand less than an arm’s length away from teen sensation Miley Cyrus Friday morning. The young star, known to millions of little girls as “Hannah Montana,” was in Manhattan to do interviews. While in town, she stopped by Central Park for an event to promote her work in an upcoming Disney feature. I was asked to host the scripted and often rehearsed (with a Miley stand-in) Disney event that involved a 9-foot plastic ball, a dog, a man inside the ball and a soundtrack. The show lasted only fifteen minutes.

The event was held at the Central Park Bandshell. Miley showed up to do interviews within the hour of showtime. Backstage, as she was being shown a run-through of the presentation with a middle-aged man acting out her part, I could have introduced myself and shaken her hand. But it was way more festive to just watch her reaction. After wrapping TV press interviews, in tight white pants with a rock ‘n’ roll blouse, pop jewelry, boots and a cascading hairstyle that an older woman (I guess, her stylist) kept touching and patting, she walked over to our section to see a run-through with the same body language and facial expression that Patty Duke had on her face for most of “Valley of the Dolls.” Her unmistakable teen scowl tickled the hell out of me as she watched a tall, grown man hold a script and animatedly perform her role saying “Hey, kids, I’m Miley! Let’s get this party started!” As he proceeded with his performance, she kept flatly saying “I got it. I got it. I got it.”

Her well-dressed, well-groomed, “I’m camera-ready for any style show on Bravo” manager stood by her side smiling. He was totally unaware that she shot him a look that seemed to say, “I just want to crack your head open with a stick.”

Come event time, she got onstage and delivered like a pro. Ms. Cyrus turned on the “perky.” Every line in her script came out of her mouth. Backstage, I did not dare ask her for a pic or an autograph. I did not want her to shoot one of those looks at me. Miley’s voiceover work in Disney’s Bolt comes out at Thanksgiving time.
www.disney.com/bolt

“Divorce challenges gay couples”

That’s the line above an article in the Los Angeles Times that documents how breaking up can be so very much harder to do than getting married for same-sex couples.

So now we may find married gay men in California staying together just for the sake of the pool boy. And so it goes. Have a good weekend.

www.latimes.com

Robin and the Seven Hoods was a great Saturday afternoon movie matinee pastime for me when I was a kid. This was back in the day the when a typical movie ticket was one (then) low price for a double feature. That’s right, y’all. We got TWO movies for the price of ONE ticket. Plus a short subject and/or cartoons.

I remember wanting to sit through that Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack musical twice. Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr — and Bing Crosby. Well, that musical is being staged and coming to Broadway. The movie wasn’t a great musical like The Band Wagon, Singin’ in the Rain, Meet Me in St. Louis, West Side Story, or The King and I but it sure was entertaining. Trying to find actors today comparable to those four talents will be tough. Although, considering that Frank Sinatra had one of his biggest record hits with a tune he introduced in that movie, “My Kind of Town,” I’d open the play in that fabulous town he was singing about — Chicago. But that’s just me. Frank and his buddies play 1920s gangsters in Chicago who rob from the rich and give to the poor. There’s a “killer” comedy performance from Peter Falk as a rival hood. He has a musical number too. Robbing from the rich and giving to the poor could be the only way many of us can afford a Broadway ticket nowadays, come to think of it. The prices are outrageous.

One of the best nights of my life was spent in Chicago seeing Frank Sinatra sing that song. I won tickets on a WGN radio show by answering a trivia question. The prize was two tickets to see him in concert at the Arie Crown Theatre. I was living in Milwaukee at the time. I called a friend of mine who was a also a 20something hardcore Frank fan. She and I couldn’t get to Chicago fast enough. When we got to the theatre, we almost started squealing like teen girls. We were in the absolute first row, smack dab in the middle. We were also probably the two youngest people in the house. Sinatra was not on his A game. He was on his A+ game. He even did about 10 minutes of impromptu stand-up comedy which broke up the tuxedo clad men in the orchestra. Of course, there was an encore and wild, thunderous applause. During his bows, Sinatra pointed to me and motioned me to come over and shake his hand. For this Black Catholic, I don’t think I could have been more excited had I been in Vatican City shaking hands with the Pope. What a night to remember.

Loved Sinatra. Love Chicago. My kind of town.

Today is the birthday of Ken Starr. Now a dean at a Southern California law school, Starr was the Special Prosecutor who went after President Bill Clinton for his extra-marital affair with Monica Lewinski like he was a hungry terrier and Clinton was a chuck roast.

Look at where America is today — no weapons of mass destruction were found, our exhausted armed forces are fighting an unnecessary and expensive war for us in the Middle East, thousands of homeless citizens were ignored by the government in the immediate wake of Hurricane Katrina, thousands of American homeowners are facing foreclosure, we’re finding it hard to afford gas and food, unemployment is on the rise, some banks have closed and we’re in the grips of an economic recession. But Starr started the ball rolling for Clinton’s impeachment because of an extra-marital affair.

I’m sorry, but — to borrow a line from the movie Good Morning, Vietnam — was there ever a white man in more dire need of a blow job than Ken Starr? I’m just sayin’. The former Special Prosecutor is 62.

From Vincent Van Gogh in a letter to his brother, Theo:

“A just or unjustly ruined reputation, poverty, fatal circumstances, adversity, that is what makes men prisoners…Do you know what frees one from this captivity? It is very deep, serious affection. Being friends, being brothers, love, that is what opens the prison by supreme power, by some magic force. But without this one remains in prison.
“…And the prison is also called prejudice, misunderstanding, fatal ignorance of one thing or another, distrust, false shame…”

That is the question. Unlike actor Kevin Spacey, the Emmy Award nominations came out this morning. I admit it. One day, I’d like to hear my name read as a nominee for Best Host. Due to all the reality television shows on nowadays, there’s a new category of “Best Host of a Reality Series.”

The nominees are –

Tom Bergeron for “Dancing with the Stars”
Heidi Klum for “Project Runway”
Howie Mandel for “Deal or No Deal”
Jeff Probst for “Survivor”
Ryan Seacrest for “American Idol.”

OK. Let’s get right to it. Tim Gunn on “Project Runway” is way more personable, hip, fabulous and creative than Bergeron. Why isn’t he in that category? The same goes for muscleman Mike Rowe on the Discovery Channel’s “Dirty Jobs. That is one of the coolest reality shows around. Also, in a major oversight, Katie Couric for the CBS Evening News. She must be heartbroken.

Discuss.